Only one mourner stood pale with watching and thought beside the open
grave, his heart aching with loneliness and a profound natural vacancy
and pain. He knew that she had neglected him, almost wronged him at the
last, cut him off, taking no thought of what was to become of him. He
felt even that in so doing this woman was unfaithful to her trust, and
had done what she ought not to have done. But all that mattered nothing
in face of natural sorrow, natural love. She had been a mother to him,
and she was gone. The ear always open to his boyish talk and confidence,
always ready to listen, could hear him no more; and, almost more
poignant, his care of her was over, there was nothing more to do for
her, none of the hundred commissions that used to send him flying, the
hundred things that had to be done. His occupation in life seemed to be
over, his home, his natural place. It had not perhaps ever been a
natural place, but he had not felt that. She had been his mother, though
no drop of her blood ran in his veins; and now he was nobody’s son,
belonging to no family. The other people round looked like ghosts to
Harry Gordon. They were part of the strange cutting off, the severance
he already felt; none of them had anything to do with her, and yet it
was he who was pushed out and put aside, as if he had nothing to do with
her, the only mother he had ever known! The little sharp old lawyer was
her representative now, not he who had been her son. He stood languid,
in a moment of utter depression, collapse of soul and body, by the
grave. When all was over, and the solemn voice which sounds as no other
voice ever does, falling calm through the still air, bidding earth
return to earth, and dust to dust, had ceased, he still stood as if
unable to comprehend that all was over--no one to bid him come away, no
other place to go to. His brain was not relieved by tears, or his mind
set in activity by anything to do. He stood there half stupefied, left
behind, in that condition when simply to remain as we are seems the only
thing possible to us.
Miss Bethune had placed Dora in the little brougham, in rigorous
fulfilment of her duty to the child. Mr. Templar and the doctor had both
departed, the two other women, Mrs. Bristow’s maid and the nurse who had
accompanied her, had driven away: and still the young man stood, not
paying any attention. Miss Bethune waited for a little by the carriage
door. She did not answer the appeal of the coachman, asking if he was to
drive away; she said nothing to Dora, whose eyes endeavoured in vain to
read the changes in her friend’s face; but, after standing there for a
few minutes quite silent, she suddenly turned and went back to the
cemetery. It was strange to her to hesitate in anything she did, and
from the moment she left the carriage door all uncertainty was over. She
went back with a quick step, treading her way among the graves, and put
her hand upon young Gordon’s arm.
“You are coming home with me,” she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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