As a matter of fact, his nerves were scarcely less shaken than he
imagined hers to be. His mother! Was that his mother who called
good-night to him from the next room? who held that amusing colloquy
with the doctor through the closed door, defying all interference, and
bidding Dr. Roland look after his patient upstairs, and leave her in
peace with Gilchrist, who was better than any doctor? Was that his
mother? His heart beat with a strange confusion, but made no answer. And
his thoughts went over all the details with an involuntary scepticism.
No, there was no voice of nature, as she had fondly hoped; nothing but
the merest response to kind words and a kind look had drawn him towards
this old Scotch maiden lady, who he had thought, with a smile, reminded
him of something in Scott, and therefore had an attraction such as
belongs to those whom we may have known in some previous state of being.
What a strange fate was his, to be drawn into one circle after another,
one family after another, to which he had no right! And how was he to
convince this lady, who was so determined in her own way of thinking,
that he had no right, no title, to consider himself her son? But had he
indeed no title? Was she likely to make such a statement without proof
that it was true, without evidence? He thought of her with a kind of
amused but by no means disrespectful admiration, as she had stood
flinging from her the miserable would-be thief, the wretched, furtive
creature who was no match for a resolute and dauntless woman. All the
women Harry had ever known would have screamed or fled or fainted at
sight of a live burglar in their very bed-chamber. She flung him off
like a fly, like a reptile. That was not a weak woman, liable to be
deceived by any fancy. She had the look in her eyes of a human creature
afraid of nothing, ready to confront any danger. And could she then be
so easily deceived? Or was it true, actually true? Was he the son--not
of a woman whom it might be shame to discover, as he had always
feared--but of a spotless mother, a person of note, with an established
position and secure fortune? The land which he was to manage, which she
had roused him almost to enthusiasm about, by her talk of crofters and
cotters to be helped forward, and human service to be done--was that
land his own, coming to him by right, his natural place and
inheritance? Was he no waif and stray, no vague atom in the world
drifting hither and thither, but a man with an assured position, a
certain home, a place in society? How different from going back to South
America, and at the best becoming a laborious clerk where he had been
the young master! But he could not believe in it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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