He lay there silent through the short summer night, moving with
precaution upon the uneasy couch, which was too short and too small, but
where the good fellow would have passed the night waking and dosing for
anybody’s comfort, even were it only an old woman’s who had been kind to
him. But was she his mother--his mother? He could not believe it--he
could not, he could not! Her wonderful speeches and looks were all
explained now, and went to his heart: but they did not convince him, or
bring any enlightenment into his. Was she the victim of an illusion,
poor lady, self-deceived altogether? Or was there something in it, or
was there nothing in it? He thought of his father, and his heart
revolted. His poor father, whom he remembered with the halo round him of
childish affection, but whom he had learned to see through other
people’s eyes, not a strong man, not good for very much, but yet not one
to desert a woman who trusted in him. But of the young man’s thoughts
through that long uneasy night there was no end. He heard whisperings
and movements in the next room, subdued for his sake as he subdued his
inclination to turn and toss upon his sofa for hers, during half the
night. And then when the daylight came bright into the room through the
bars of the venetian blind there came silence, just when he had fully
woke up to the consciousness that life had begun again in a new world. A
little later, Gilchrist stole into his room, bringing him a cup of tea.
“You must come upstairs now; there’s a room where ye will get some
sleep. She’s sound now, and it’s broad daylight, and no fear of any
disturbance,” she said.
“I want no more sleep. I’ll go and get a bath, and be ready for whatever
is wanted.” He caught her apron as she was turning away, that apron on
which so many hems had been folded. “Don’t go away,” he said. “Speak to
me, tell me, Gilchrist, for heaven’s sake, is this true?”
“The Lord knows!” cried Gilchrist, shaking her head and clasping her
hands; “but oh, my young gentleman, dinna ask me!”
“Whom can I ask?” he said. “Surely, surely you, that have been always
with her, can throw some light upon it. Is it true?”
“It is true--true as death,” said the woman, “that all that happened to
my dear leddy; but oh, if you are the bairn, the Lord knows; he was but
two days old, and he would have been about your age. I can say not a
word, but only the Lord knows. And there’s nothing--nothing, though she
thinks sae, that speaks in your heart?”
He shook his head, with a faint smile upon his face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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