It was a white dress, made with great simplicity, as became Dora’s age,
but also in a costly way, a semi-transparent white, the sort of stuff
which could be drawn through a ring, as happens in fairy tales, and was
certainly not to be bought in ordinary English shops. To receive
anything so unexpected, so exciting, so beautiful, and not to speak of
it, to exhibit it to some one, was impossible. Dora had not been able to
restrain herself. She had carried it in her arms out of her room, and
opened it out upon a sofa in the sitting-room for her father’s
inspection. There are some things which we know beforehand will not
please, and yet which we are compelled to do; and this was the
consciousness in Dora’s mind, who, besides her delight in the gift, and
her desire to be able to find out something about the donor, had also,
it must be allowed, a burning desire to make discoveries as to that past
of which she knew so little, which had seized upon her mind from the
moment when she had found the portrait turned upon its face in the
secret drawer of her father’s cabinet. As she withdrew now, again
carrying in her arms the beautiful dress, there was in her mind,
underneath a certain compunction for having disturbed her father, and
sympathy with him so strong that she would actually have been capable of
sacrificing her newly-acquired possessions, a satisfaction
half-mischievous, half-affectionate, in the discoveries which she had
made. They were certainly discoveries; sorry as she was to “upset
father,” there was yet a consciousness in her mind that this time it had
been worth the while.
The reader may not think any better of Dora for this confession; but
there is something of the elf in most constitutions at fifteen, and she
was not of course at all sensible at that age of the pain that might lie
in souvenirs so ruthlessly stirred up. And she had indeed made something
by them. Never, never again, she promised herself, would she worry
father with questions; but so far as the present occasion went, she
could scarcely be sorry, for had not she learned much--enough to give
her imagination much employment? She carried away her discoveries with
her, as she carried her dress, to realise them in the shelter of her own
room. They seemed to throw a vivid light upon that past in which her own
life was so much involved. She threw the dress upon her bed carelessly,
these other new thoughts having momentarily taken the interest out of
even so exciting a novelty as that; and arranged in shape and sequence
what she had found out. Well, it was not so much, after all. What seemed
most clear in it was that father had not been quite friends with mother,
or at least with mother’s friends. Perhaps these friends had made
mischief between them--perhaps she had cared for them more than for her
husband; but surely that was not possible. And how strange, how strange
it was that he should keep up such a feeling so long!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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