It overawed Dora a little to think if ever this lady came home, what
would happen? Of course, she would wish to see the girl whom she had
remembered so long, whom she had befriended so constantly; and what if
father would not permit it? It would be unkind, ungrateful, wrong; but
what if father objected, if it made him unhappy? Dora did not see her
way through this dreadful complication. It was sufficiently hard upon
her, a girl at so early an age, to become the possessor of a beautiful
dress like this, and have no one to show it to, to talk it over with;
nobody even to tell her exactly how it fitted, to judge what was
necessary for its perfection, as Dora herself, with no experience, and
not even a good glass to see herself in, could scarcely do. To hide a
secret of any kind in one’s being at fifteen is a difficult thing; but
when that secret is a frock, a dress!--a robe, indeed, she felt it ought
to be called, it was so exquisite, so poetical in its fineness and
whiteness. Dora had no one to confide in; and if she had possessed a
thousand confidants, would not have said a word to them which would seem
to involve her father in any blame. She put her pretty dress away,
however, with a great sense of discomfiture and downfall. Perhaps he
would dislike to see her wear it, even if she had ever any need for a
beautiful dress like that. But she never had any need. She never went
anywhere, or saw anybody. A whole host of little grievances came up in
the train of that greater one. She wondered if she were to spend all her
life like this, without ever tasting those delights of society which she
had read of, without ever knowing any one of her own age, without ever
seeing people dance, or hearing them sing. As for performing in these
ways herself, that had not come into Dora’s mind. She would like, she
thought, to look on and see how they did it, for once, at least, in her
life.
When she had come to this point, Dora, who was a girl full of natural
sense, began to feel instinctively that she was not in a good way, and
that it would be better to do something active to clear away the
cobwebs. It was evening, however, and she did not know exactly what to
do. To go back to the sitting-room where her father was reading, and to
sit down also to read at his side, seemed an ordeal too much for her
after the excitement of their previous talk; but it was what probably
she would have been compelled to do, had she not heard a heavy step
mounting the stairs, the sound of a knock at the door, and her father’s
voice bidding some one enter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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