A HOUSE TO LET (FULL TEXT)
by Charles Dickens, Wilkie Collins, Elizabeth Gaskell, Adelaide Ann
Procter
Contents:
Over the Way
The Manchester Marriage
Going into Society
Three Evenings in the House
Trottle’s Report
Let at Last
OVER THE WAY
I had been living at Tunbridge Wells and nowhere else, going on for ten
years, when my medical man—very clever in his profession, and the
prettiest player I ever saw in my life of a hand at Long Whist, which was
a noble and a princely game before Short was heard of—said to me, one
day, as he sat feeling my pulse on the actual sofa which my poor dear
sister Jane worked before her spine came on, and laid her on a board for
fifteen months at a stretch—the most upright woman that ever lived—said
to me, “What we want, ma’am, is a fillip.”
“Good gracious, goodness gracious, Doctor Towers!” says I, quite startled
at the man, for he was so christened himself: “don’t talk as if you were
alluding to people’s names; but say what you mean.”
“I mean, my dear ma’am, that we want a little change of air and scene.”
“Bless the man!” said I; “does he mean we or me!”
“I mean you, ma’am.”
“Then Lard forgive you, Doctor Towers,” I said; “why don’t you get into a
habit of expressing yourself in a straightforward manner, like a loyal
subject of our gracious Queen Victoria, and a member of the Church of
England?”
Towers laughed, as he generally does when he has fidgetted me into any of
my impatient ways—one of my states, as I call them—and then he began,—
“Tone, ma’am, Tone, is all you require!” He appealed to Trottle, who
just then came in with the coal-scuttle, looking, in his nice black suit,
like an amiable man putting on coals from motives of benevolence.
Trottle (whom I always call my right hand) has been in my service
two-and-thirty years. He entered my service, far away from England.
He is the best of creatures, and the most respectable of men; but,
opinionated.
“What you want, ma’am,” says Trottle, making up the fire in his quiet and
skilful way, “is Tone.”
“Lard forgive you both!” says I, bursting out a-laughing; “I see you are
in a conspiracy against me, so I suppose you must do what you like with
me, and take me to London for a change.”
For some weeks Towers had hinted at London, and consequently I was
prepared for him. When we had got to this point, we got on so
expeditiously, that Trottle was packed off to London next day but one, to
find some sort of place for me to lay my troublesome old head in.
Trottle came back to me at the Wells after two days’ absence, with
accounts of a charming place that could be taken for six months certain,
with liberty to renew on the same terms for another six, and which really
did afford every accommodation that I wanted.
“Could you really find no fault at all in the rooms, Trottle?” I asked
him.
“Not a single one, ma’am. They are exactly suitable to you. There is
not a fault in them. There is but one fault outside of them.”
“And what’s that?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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