Caricatures and cartoons -- Great Britain; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- History -- Humor; Humorous poetry
Henry II. Henry the Second claims our rhyme
1154-1189 'The hardest worker of his time';
A wiser King we never had
Nor father with his sons so bad.
Becket This the first 'Plantagenet' King
With Becket strove like anything;
Church v. Which should be Master, Church or Crown
Crown Pull-King Pull-Bishop; both went down.
Thomas was murdered by four Knights
On steps of Altar--Sorry wights:
With bleeding feet the King atones
By pilgrimage to Becket's bones.
Despite his struggles with the Church
He knocked the barons off their perch,
Fifteen hundred Castles razing
In a manner quite amazing.
Law Trial by jury further grows;
The King's Court in this reign arose;
Our Parliaments from this proceed
And all our other Courts indeed.
Linen Linen's first used in twelve-five
Woollens alone in vogue before.
Glass Windows In eleven-eight-nought first came to pass
The novelty of window glass.
And doubtless playful little boys
Full of children's simple joys,
Cracked as our youngsters often do
With stones or ball a pane or two.
Richard Coeur de Lion from one Crusade
Coeur de Lion Returning was a prisoner made.
1189-1199 But Blondel played an Air he knew,
The King joined in; Voila the clue.
This catchy tune in a pleasant key
Opened the door to liberty.
[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]
John And so we'll quickly journey on
1199-1216 Until we reach the reign of John;
A King whose list of crimes was heavy;
He treated badly his young 'Nevvy'.
Magna Charta He signed the Magna Charta. Yes;
1215 In twelve-fifteen, but we may guess
With much ill grace and many a twist;
For King John wrote an awful fist.
John loses Normandy to France
And by this beneficial chance
In England comes amalgamation;
Normans and Saxons form one Nation
Robin Hood And now we come to Robin Hood,
The Forest bandit of Sherwood,
A popular hero much belauded
But not by folks whom he'd defrauded.
There's no need to descant upon
His boon companion 'Little John';
Or 'Friar Tuck' so overblown
He tipped the scale at fifteen stone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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