We pass through Bruges without seeing it. I have no recollection
whatever of having seen the Belfry. We see nothing but the Canal (where
we halt to take in petrol) and more villages, more faces. And more
troops.
Half-way between Bruges and Ghent an embankment thrown up on each side
of the road tells of possible patrols and casual shooting. It is the
first visible intimation that the enemy may be anywhere.
A curious excitement comes to you. I suppose it is excitement, though it
doesn't feel like it. You have been drunk, very slightly drunk with the
speed of the car. But now you are sober. Your heart beats quietly,
steadily, but with a little creeping, mounting thrill in the beat. The
sensation is distinctly pleasurable. You say to yourself, "It is coming.
Now--or the next minute--perhaps at the end of the road." You have one
moment of regret. "After all, it would be a pity if it came too soon,
before we'd even begun our job." But the thrill, mounting steadily,
overtakes the regret. It is only a little thrill, so far (for you don't
really believe that there is any danger), but you can imagine the thing
growing, growing steadily, till it becomes ecstasy. Not that you imagine
anything at the moment. At the moment you are no longer an observing,
reflecting being; you have ceased to be aware of yourself; you exist
only in that quiet, steady thrill that is so unlike any excitement that
you have ever known. Presently you get used to it. "What a fool I should
have been if I hadn't come. I wouldn't have missed this run for the
world."
I forget myself so far as to say this to Mrs. Torrence. My voice doesn't
sound at all like the stern voice of duty. It is the voice of somebody
enjoying herself. I am behaving exactly as I behaved this morning at
Ostend; and cannot possibly hope for any sympathy from Mrs. Torrence.
But Mrs. Torrence has unbent a little. She has in fact been unbending
gradually ever since we left Ostend. There is a softer light in her
beautiful eyes. For she is not only a trained nurse but an expert
motorist; and a Daimler is a Daimler even when it's an ambulance car.
From time to time remarks of a severely technical nature are exchanged
between her and Tom. Still, up till now, nothing has passed to indicate
any flagging in the relentless spirit of the ---- Hospital.
The next minute I hear that the desire of Mrs. Torrence's heart is to
get into the greatest possible danger--and to get out of it.
The greatest possible danger is to fall into the hands of the Uhlans. I
feel that I should be very glad indeed to get out of it, but that I'm
not by any means so keen on getting in. I say so. I confess frankly
that I'm afraid of Uhlans, particularly when they're drunk.
But Mrs. Torrence is not afraid of anything. There is no German living,
drunk or sober, who could break her spirit. Nothing dims for her that
shining vision of the greatest possible danger. She does not know what
fear is.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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