The same Thing often happens in our World, where, when the Dispute turns upon some very dubious and almost inexplicable Point, one may observe the Combatants are often work’d up to the most violent Agitations of Mind or Body. However, this threatning Quarrel which promis’d nothing but Blood and Slaughter, ended all in Compliments and Praises. Something like this obtains in our _European_ Universities, where, according to general Custom, the President, when the Dispute is clos’d, descends victorious and triumphant from the Chair. This Preamble ended, they proceeded to the Act of Creation with these Ceremonies. The Candidate was plac’d in the Middle of the Auditory: Three of the University-Beadles walk’d gravely up to him, and threw a whole Pail-full of cold Water upon his Head; they then perfum’d him with Incense, and lastly gave him a Vomit to take off. Having perform’d this with the utmost Solemnity, they retir’d bowing, and declar’d him aloud a true and legitimate Doctor. Amaz’d at so many wonderful Ceremonies, I ask’d a certain learned Monkey who stood near me, the Meaning of all this. He told me, (pitying at the same Time my Ignorance) that by the Water, the Incense, and the Vomit, it was understood that the Candidate was to forsake his old Vices, and to assume a new Set of Manners, to distinguish him from the Vulgar. Hearing this, I deplor’d my own Stupidity, and full of Admiration, forbore to ask any farther Questions, for fear I should be thought to have never convers’d with any Thing above Brutes. At last all the musical Instruments struck up at once, and the new Doctor, cloath’d in a Robe of Green, and girt with a Sash of the same Colour, was escorted home from the Auditory with all _Parnassus_ at his Heels. But as he was of a plebeian Family, he had not the Honour of a Coach, but was seated in a Vehicle not unlike a Wheelbarrow, and drawn by Hand, the University-Beadles marching before in their respective Habits. The Whole ended in a very handsome Entertainment, where the Guests drank so plentifully, that many of them were carried home extremely intoxicated, and were so ill for many Days after, that without the Help of proper Medicines they would hardly have recover’d. So that from the Beginning to the Ending of this whole Ceremony, nothing was wanting to the due Solemnity of it; and I protest, I never, even in our World, saw a more truly academical Promotion, or any Candidate commence Doctor more legitimately than this.