As we return’d from the Hall, we met an Offender in Custody of three Keepers. The same by Decree in Court had lately undergone _the Punishment of the Arm_ (so they call the letting Blood) and was now going to be consign’d over to the publick Hospital or _Bedlam_. Upon Enquiry into the Reason of such Sentence, I was inform’d, that the Criminal had disputed publickly about the Qualities and Essence of the Supreme Being, a Thing here prohibited, where all these over curious Disquisitions are thought to be such exquisite Folly and Rashness, that a Creature of a sound Understanding could not well fall into it. Therefore these subtle Disputants, after the _Venæ-section_, were, like Madmen, condemned to Confinement, till they got out of this Delirium. Ah! thought I to myself, what would become of our Divines, whom we every Day hear wrangling about the Quality and Attributes of the Deity, about the Nature of spiritual Beings, and other Mysteries of that Kind? What also would become of our Metaphysicians, who by their transcendental Jargon, affect a Degree of Wisdom far above the Vulgar, and even above Human Nature itself? Certainly, instead of Hoods, Caps, and other Academical Honours, which in _our_ World are so liberally granted them, they would in _this_ be shew’d the Way to the publick Hospital. All this, and other Things full as paradoxical, I remark’d during the Time of my Probation in the Seminary. At length the appointed Time arriv’d, when, by Order of the Prince, I was to be conducted to Court with a Testimonial. I flatter’d myself, that I should have the most honourable Encomiums and Approbations, depending partly upon my own Accomplishments, since I had learn’d the subterranean Tongue sooner than could be expected, and partly upon the Interest of my Host, together with the renown’d Integrity of my Judges. At last my Testimonial was deliver’d me, which I open’d with the utmost Transport, impatient of reading my own Praises, and of concluding from thence what my Destiny was to be. But the Perusal of it threw me into Fits of Rage and Despair. The Tenor of it was this: “In Obedience to the Commands of your Serene Highness, the Animal lately arriv’d from another World, and calling himself _a Man_, we herewith send, most carefully instructed in our Seminary. Upon the nicest Inquiry into his Genius and Manners, we have found him to be of competent Docility, and extremely quick of Apprehension, but of so weak and uneven a Judgment, that he hardly merits to be consider’d as a rational Creature, much less to be admitted to any important Office in the Government. But since he excels every one in Swiftness of Foot, we are humbly of Opinion that he is extremely qualify’d for the Post of _King’s Messenger_. Given at our Seminary of _Keba_, in the Month of _Brambles_, by your Serene Highness’s most humble Servants, _Nehec, Jochtan, Rapasi, Chilac._”