American fiction -- 19th century; Manners and customs -- Fiction
"I have no doubt they will change, too; not in kind, but in degree. The
better I know you, I am sure, the better I shall like you. The better,
too, you will like me. Don't turn your back upon me. I speak the truth.
You will get to entertain a serious opinion of me,--which I'm sure you
haven't now, or you wouldn't talk of my intoxicating you. But you must
be patient. It's a singular fact that it takes longer to like a woman
than to love her. A sense of intoxication is a very poor feeling to
marry upon. You wish, of course, to break with your idleness, and your
bad habits,--you see I am so thoroughly your friend that I'm not afraid
of touching upon disagreeable facts, as I should be if I were your
mistress. But you are so indolent, so irresolute, so undisciplined, so
uneducated,"--Gertrude spoke deliberately, and watched the effect of her
words,--"that you find a change of life very difficult. I propose, with
your consent, to appoint myself your counsellor. Henceforth my house
will be open to you as to my dearest friend. Come as often and stay as
long as you please. Not in a few weeks, perhaps, nor even in a few
months, but in God's good time, you will be a noble young man in working
order,--which I don't consider you now, and which I know you don't
consider yourself. But I have a great opinion of your talents," (this
was very shrewd of Gertrude,) "and of your heart. If I turn out to have
done you a service, you'll not want to marry me then."
Richard had silently listened, with a deepening frown. "That's all very
pretty," he said; "but"--and the reader will see that, in his
earnestness, he was inclined to dispense with courtesy--"it's
rotten,--rotten from beginning to end. What's the meaning of all that
rigmarole about the inconsistency of friendship and love? Such talk is
enough to drive one mad. Refuse me outright, and send me to the Devil if
you must; but don't bemuddle your own brains at the same time. But one
little word knocks it all to pieces: I want you for my wife. You make an
awful mistake in treating me as a boy,--an awful mistake. I am in
working order. I have begun life in loving you. I have broken with
drinking as effectually as if I hadn't touched a drop of liquor for
twenty years. I hate it, I loathe it. I've drunk my last. No, Gertrude,
I'm no longer a boy,--you've cured me of that. Hang it, that's why I
love you! Don't you see? Ah, Gertrude!"--and his voice fell,--"you're a
great enchantress! You have no arts, you have no beauty even, (can't a
lover deal with facts now?), but you are an enchantress without them.
It's your nature. You are so divinely, damnably honest! That excellent
speech just now was meant to smother my passion; but it has only
inflamed it. You will say it was nothing but common sense. Very likely;
but that is the very point. Your common sense captivates me. It's for
that that I love you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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