A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
During one of the Tennessee campaigns Morgan’s Men surprised and routed
a regiment of Federal troopers. In the midst of the retreat one of the
enemy, who was mounted upon a big bay horse, suddenly turned and charged
the victorious Confederates full-tilt, waving his arm and shrieking like
mad as he bore down upon them alone. Respecting such marvellous courage,
the Confederates fore-bore shooting at the approaching foe, but when he
was right upon them they saw there was a reason for his seeming
foolhardiness.
He was a green recruit. His horse had run away with him—the bit had
broken, and, white as a sheet and scared stiff, the luckless youth was
being propelled straight at the whooping Kentuckians, begging for mercy
as he came.
Jeff Sterritt, the wit of the command, stopped the horse and made a
willing prisoner of the rider. Sterritt, who had not washed or shaved
for days and was a ferocious looking person, pulled out a big pistol and
wagged its muzzle in the terrified Federal’s face.
“I don’t know whether to kill you right now,” he said, “or wait until
the fight is over!”
“Mister,” begged the quivering captive, “as a favor to me, please don’t
do it at all! I’m a dissipated character—and I ain’t prepared to die!”
§ 27 The Careful MacTavish
Mr. MacTavish attended a christening where the hospitality of the host
knew no bounds except the capacities of the guests.
In the midst of the celebration Mr. MacTavish rose up and made the
rounds of the company, bidding each person present a ceremonious
farewell.
“But, Sandy, mon,” objected the host, “ye’re no’ goin’ yet, with the
evenin’ just startin’?”
“Nay,” said the prudent MacTavish, “I’m no’ goin’ yet. But I’m tellin’
ye good night while I know ye.”
§ 28 The Sway of Eloquence
Down in my part of the country in the old days we were a high strung and
sentimental people, and oratory moved us as nothing else would. There
was once a brawny blacksmith in our county who was elected justice of
the peace on the strength of his Confederate record. The first case he
sat to hear was one growing out of the death of a cow under a freight
train. After the evidence was all in, the attorney for the plaintiff
made a most effective argument. In vivid word pictures he sketched the
abundant virtues of the late cow; he described her sweetness and her
gentleness, her capacity as to milk; he told of the great bereavement to
her immediate family, consisting of a young calf, and he dwelt upon the
heartlessness of a railroad system which by its brutal carelessness had
at one fell swoop, as it were, made stew meat of the parent and an
orphan of the offspring. His peroration is still remembered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account