“Well, suhs,” he said, with a shiver, “they teks an’ strops you down, hand an’ foot, in a big cheer. An’ den they clamps some lil’ things onto yo’ haid an’ yo’ laigs. An’ den one of de w’ite men he step over to whar they’s a little jigger set in de wall an’ he give it a lil’ yank—zzz—like dat!” Here he paused and fetched a deep breath. “Whut den? whut den?” came the chorus. “Nothin’ but ruin—jes’ absolute ruin!” § 73 With All Good Wishes The colonel of one of our negro regiments serving in France during the world war impressed it upon the rank and file of his command that in the field a soldier addressing his superior officer invariably should have regard for correct military procedure and for correct military language. The lesson must have gone home, because now among the treasured possessions of that colonel is a certain document sent by runner from a forward trench to company headquarters back of the second line of defense. On a scrap of paper, with a stub of pencil, the author of the communication, a much-harried black corporal then undergoing his baptism of shelling, wrote as follows: “To Lieutenant Seth B. McClintock, “Commanding Company F.—Blank Regimen’ “Blank Division, A. E. F., U. S. A. “Dear Sir—I am being fired on heavily from the left. I await your instructions. “Trusting these few lines will find you the same, I remain, “Yours truly, “James Jordon.” § 74 A Start from Humble Beginnings Mr. Campbell, who was a lawyer, felt somewhat irritated on reaching his office at 8:30 in the morning to find the fire in the grate unkindled and the floor unswept and the place generally in a state of disorder. It was nearly 9 o’clock before Ike, his black office servant, appeared. “Good Lord, Ike,” said Mr. Campbell petulantly. “What’s detained you?” “Mist’ Campbell,” apologized Ike, “you must please, suh, ’scuse me fur bein’ late dis one time. I sort of overslept myse’f. De truth of de matter is dat I wuz kept up de best part of de night on ’count of j’inin’ a lodge.” “It surely didn’t take you all night to join a lodge, did it?” “Naw, suh, not perzac’ly. De fust part of de evenin’ they wuz ’niciatin’ me into de membership an’ de rest of de time dey wuz ’onductin’ me into office.” “Isn’t it rather unusual to confer an office on a member immediately after taking him in?” “Naw suh, dat’s de standin’ rule in dat lodge—jes’ soon ez you is ’niciated you gits a office.” “What office did they confer upon you?” “Imperial Supreme King.” “What?” “Dat’s whut dey calls it—Imperial Supreme King of de Universe.” “Isn’t that rather a high office for a brand new member?” “Why, naw, suh, Mist’ Campbell, dat’s de lowes’ office dey is in dat lodge. W’en I’s been in a spell longer dey is goin’ give me somethin’ really wuth while.”