A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
Next morning bright and early he came to release his brother expert. The
windows still were shuttered, the doors still fastened tight; but the
house was empty. Also it was in a damaged state. At one side the thin
clapboards were burst through, as though a blunt projectile traveling at
great speed had struck them with terrific force from within. The
shattered ends of planking stood forth, encircling the jagged aperture
in a sort of sunburst effect.
Upon a splintered tip of one of the boards was a wisp of kinky wool.
Upon a paling of the yard fence was a rag, evidently ripped from a shirt
sleeve. Otherwise there were no signs of George. He was utterly gone,
with only that yawning orifice in the cottage wall to give a clue as to
the manner of his departure.
Mr. Ferguson waited all through the day for the missing one to turn up.
On the second day the white man gave the alarm. A search party was
organized—men on horseback with dogs. Bloodhounds took the trail. They
followed it from early morning until late that evening.
Just before dusk, in a swamp thirty miles away the lead-dog bayed
exultantly. The pursuing posse, with Ferguson in the lead, spurred
forward.
Here came the missing George. His face was set toward home. It was a
face streaked with dust and dried sweat, torn by briers, wet, drawn,
gray with fatigue. His garments were in shreds; his hat was gone. His
weary legs tottered under him as he dragged one sore foot after the
other.
Yet in the heart of Mr. Ferguson indignation was stronger than
compassion. He rode up alongside the spent and wavering pedestrian.
“Well, by heck, you certainly are the most unreliable nigger in this
State!” he said. “Here night before last I make a contract with you for
a certain job. I leave you in one of my houses. I come there the next
morning and not only are you gone without leaving any word, but one side
of my house is busted out. And then I have to leave my business to come
hunting for you. And after riding all over the country I find you here,
thirty miles from home, in a swamp. Where in thunder have you been since
I last saw you, forty-eight hours ago?”
“Boss,” said George, “I’ve been comin’ back.”
§ 87 Natural Proof
When the weather gets unseasonably warm I deem the time suitable for
reviving a story which I first heard at the Republican National
Convention in Chicago in 1920. As may be recalled by those who attended
that convention, the entire country from coast to coast sweltered
through the week under a blanket of terrific heat.
A delegate from California, in a half fluid state, fell off of a
transcontinental train. A Chicago friend met him at the station.
“Say, old man,” said the friend when greetings had been exchanged, “is
it as hot out West as it is here on the lake?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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