A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
“I’ve also been kind of favored in the matter of shipments, seein’ that
my cousin is district freight-agent for the railroad and he fixes up
things so our freightin’ don’t amount to nothin’ at all.
“That’s the way she stands—no wages for outside hands, no cost for
timber, and practically nothin’ for freight bills.
“And last year I lost twenty-five hundred dollars.”
§ 137 There Spoke a Sympathizing Soul
In the latter years of his picturesque career Colonel Eph Lillard was
warden of the state prison at Frankfort. It was no more than natural
that the Colonel should be a sincere lover of good horseflesh. To him, a
thoroughbred was almost the noblest work of God.
In his conduct of the prison he applied some of the kindly principles
which actuated him in his private life. It was his boast that no
penitentiary in the South was run on more humane lines. One morning,
though, word spread through the town that during the night a convict up
at the Colonel’s big, stone-walled establishment had hanged himself to
the bars of his cell. In a body, the correspondents of the Louisville
and Cincinnati papers waited upon the warden to learn the details of the
suicide. They found Colonel Lillard in his private office wearing upon
his genial face a look of genuine concern.
“Colonel,” said the spokesman for the group, “it begins to look to us as
though some of your pets were not so well satisfied as you’ve been
letting on. How about that fellow who killed himself last night?”
“Boys,” said the Colonel, “I’ve just been conductin’ an examination into
the circumstances of that most deplorable affair. The situation with
regards to the late deceased prove to be mighty affectin’. It seems he
was sent up the first time to serve two years for stealin’ a horse. When
he got out he went back home and stole another horse. They caught him
before he’d gone more than half a mile and the jury gave him five years
and back he came again. After he’d served his second term he went into
an adjoinin’ county to the one where he’d formerly lived and slipped
into a stranger’s stable and stole a mighty likely blooded mare, but was
overtaken at daylight next morning and inside of three months was back
here again doin’ an eight-year term. The way I look at it, the poor
fellow took to broodin’ and just naturally despaired of ever gettin’
hisself a horse.”
§ 138 The Inevitable Consequences
Martin Littleton was born in East Tennessee. When he was a boy he moved
to a community in Texas, largely settled by people from his own part of
the country who had carried with them to their new home the customs and
traditions of their native mountains. There he studied law and presently
he opened a modest law-office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account