I write not this, to Bite you by the Ear, (_i.e._) flatter you out of a Brace or two of Guinea's: No; as I am a true _Dumpling Eater_, my Views are purely _Epicurean_, and my utmost Hopes center'd in partaking of some elegant _Quelque Chose_ tost up by your judicious Hand. I regard Money but as a Ticket which admits me to your Delicate Entertainments; to me much more Agreeable than all the Monkey-Tricks of Rival _Harlequins_, or _Puppet-Show_ Finery of Contending _Theatres_. The Plague and fatigue of Dependance and Attendance, which call me so often to the Court-end of the Town, were insupportable, but for the Relief I find at AUSTIN's, your Ingenious and Grateful Disciple, who has adorn'd _New Bond-street_ with your Graceful _Effigies_. Nor can he fail of Custom who has hung out a Sign so Alluring to all true _Dumpling-Eaters_. Many a time and oft have I gaz'd with Pleasure on your Features, and trac'd in them the exact Lineaments of your glorious Ancestor Sir JOHN BRAND, vulgarly call'd Sir JOHN PUDDING. Tho' the Corruption of our _English_ Orthography indulges some appearance of Distinction between BRAND and BRAUND, yet in Effect they are one and the same thing. The ancient Manor of BRAND's, alias BRAUND's, near Kilburn in _Middlesex_, was the very Manor-House of Sir JOHN BRAND, and is call'd BRAND's to this Day, altho' at present it be in the Possession of the Family of MARSH. What Honours are therefore due to One who is in a Direct Male Line, an Immediate Descendant from the Loins of that Great Man! Let this teach You to value your Self; this remind the World, how much they owe to the Family of the BRAUNDS; more particularly to YOU, who inherit not only the Name, but the Virtues of your Illustrious Ancestor. I am, SIR, With all imaginable Esteem and Gratitude, Your very most Obedient Servant, _&c._ Page 5. line 15, _&c._ for _Barnes_ read _Brand_. [Decoration] A Learned Dissertation on DUMPLING; Its Dignity, Antiquity, _&c._