Mrs. Campbell: "Now this, I think, is the most exciting part of the
whole affair, and the pleasantest." She is seated at breakfast in her
cottage at Summering-by-the-Sea. A heap of letters of various stylish
shapes, colors, and superscriptions lies beside her plate, and
irregularly straggles about among the coffee-service. Vis-a-vis with her
sits Mr. Campbell behind a newspaper. "How prompt they are! Why, I
didn't expect to get half so many answers yet. But that shows that where
people have nothing to do _but_ attend to their social duties they are
always prompt--even the men; women, of course, reply early anyway, and
you don't really care for them; but in town the men seem to put it off
till the very last moment, and then some of them call when it's over to
excuse themselves for not having come after accepting. It really makes
you wish for a leisure class. It's only the drive and hurry of American
life that make our men seem wanting in the _convenances_; and if they
had the time, with their instinctive delicacy, they would be perfect: it
would come from the heart: they're more truly polite now. Willis, just
_look_ at this!"
Campbell, behind his paper: "Look at what?"
Mrs. Campbell: "These replies. Why, I do believe that more than half the
people have answered already, and the invitations only went out
yesterday. That comes from putting on R.S.V.P. I knew I was right, and I
shall always do it, I don't care what _you_ say."
Campbell: "You didn't put on R.S.V.P. after all I said?" He looks round
the edge of his paper at her.
Mrs. Campbell: "_Yes_, I did. The idea of your setting up for an
authority in such a thing as that!"
Campbell: "Then I'm sorry I didn't ask you to do it. It's a shame to
make people say whether they'll come to a garden-party from four till
seven or not."
Mrs. Campbell: "A shame? How can you provide if you don't know how many
are coming? I should like to know that. But of course I couldn't expect
you to give in gracefully."
Campbell: "I should give in gracefully if I gave in at all, but I
don't." He throws his paper down beside his chair. "Here, hand over the
letters, and I'll be opening them for you while you pour out the
coffee."
Mrs. Campbell, covering the letters with her hands: "Indeed you won't!"
Campbell: "Well, pour out the coffee, then, anyway."
Mrs. Campbell, after a moment's reflection: "No, I shall not do it. I'm
going to open them every one before you get a drop of coffee--just to
punish you."
Campbell: "To punish me? For what?" Mrs. Campbell hesitates, as if at a
loss what to say. "There! you don't know."
Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, I do: for saying I oughtn't to have put on R.S.V.P.
Do you take it back?"
Campbell: "How can I till I've had some coffee? My mind won't work on an
empty stomach. Well--" He rises and goes round the table towards her.
Mrs. Campbell, spreading both arms over the letters: "Willis, if you
dare to touch them, I'll ring for Jane, and then she'll see you cutting
up."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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