Artists -- Fiction; Fantasy fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Portraits -- Fiction
And thereupon the Artist turned to Mr. Dobbles
and murmured, "What did I tell you?" And
Mr. Dobbles murmured back, "Ah!--what did you tell
me?" not as a question, but as a confirmation.
"What I've been thinking all along!" said Mr. Aiken.
Then all three gave confirmatory nods, and
said that was it, you might rely on it. Diana was
too forward. Had Actæon been able to talk, he
might have protested against this. For see what a
difference the absence of the opposite characteristic
would have made to Actæon!
Conversation then turned on the steps to be taken
to get this forward Goddess into her place again,
Mr. Tick, who appeared to be an authority, dwelt
almost passionately on the minuteness of the
change required. "When I talk of puttin' down,"
said he, "you mustn't imagine I'm referrin' to any
_perceptible_ alteration. You change the tone of that
flesh, and you'll ruin the picture!"
His hearers chorused their approbation, in such
terms as "Right you are, Tick, my boy!"--"That's
the way to put it!"--"Bully for you, old cocky-wax!"
and so on.
Mr. Tick seemed pleased, and elaborated his
position. "Strictly speakin'," said he, "what is
needed is an absolutely imperceptible lowerin' of
the tone. Don't you run away with the idea that
you can paint on a bit of work like that, to do it
any good. You try it on, and you'll come a cropper." This
was agreed to with acclamations, and a running
commentary of "Caution's the thing!"--"You
stick to Caution!"--and so on. The orator
proceeded, "Now, I never give advice, on principle.
But if I was to do so in this case, and you were to
do as I told you, you would just take the _smallest
possible_ quantity--the least, _least_, LEAST touch--no
more!--of..." But Mr. Tick had all but curled
up over the intensity of his superlatives, and he
had to come uncurled.
"What of?" said Mr. Aiken. And said Mr. Dobbles,
not to be quite out of it, "Ah!--what
of?" Because a good deal turned on that.
Mr. Tick had a paroxysm of decision. He seized
Mr. Aiken's velveteen sleeve, and held him at
arm's length. "Look here, Crocky!" said he.
"Got any Transparent Oxide of Chromium?"
"Yes--somewhere!"
"Well, now--just you do as I tell you. Got a
clean number twelve sable? ... No?--well, number
eleven, then ... That'll do!--dip it in Benzine
Collas and give it a rinse out. See? Then you give
it a rub in your Transparent Oxide, and wipe it
clean with a rag. What's left will go all over Diana,
and a little to spare..."
"Won't she look green?" Mr. Aiken seemed reluctant.
"Rather! But you do as I say, young feller, and
ask no questions.... 'What are you to do next?'--why,
take an absoli-y_oo_tly white bit of old rag
and wipe her quite clean from head to foot." His
audience suggesting here that no change would be
visible, he added, "That's the idear. Don't you
change the colour on any account. But you'll
see! Diana--she'll have gone back!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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