Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"I am so sorry you are not dancing," says her companion, leaning
towards her. His regret is evidently genuine, indeed; to Hardinge
the evening is an ill-spent one that precludes his dancing with
Perpetua Wynter.
"Yes?" she looks up at him from her low lounge amongst the palms.
"Well, so am I, do you know!" telling the truth openly, yet with an
evident sense of shame. "But I don't dance now, because--it is
selfish, isn't it?--because I should be so unhappy afterwards if I
_did!"_
"A perfect reason," says Hardinge very earnestly. He is still
leaning towards her, his elbows on his knees, his eyes on hers. It
is an intent gaze that seldom wanders, and in truth why should it?
Where is any other thing as good to look at as this small, fair
creature, with the eyes, and the hair, and the lips that belong to
her?
He has taken possession of her fan, and gently, lovingly, as though
indeed it is part of her, is holding it, raising it sometimes to
sweep the feathers of it across his lips.
"Do you think so?" says she, as if a little puzzled. "Well, I
confess I don't like the moments when I hate myself. We all hate
ourselves sometimes, don't we?" looking at him as if doubtfully, "or
is it only I myself, who----"
"Oh, no!" says Hardinge. _"All!_ All of us detest ourselves now and
again, or at least we think we do. It comes to the same thing, but
you--you have no cause."
"I should have if I danced," says she, "and I couldn't bear the
after reproach, so I don't do it."
"And yet--yet you would _like_ to dance?"
"I don't know----" She hesitates, and suddenly looks up at him with
eyes as full of sorrow as of mirth. "At all events I know _this,"_
says she, "that I wish the band would not play such nice waltzes!"
Hardinge gives way to laughter, and presently she laughs too, but
softly, and as if afraid of being heard, and as if too a little
ashamed of herself. Her color rises, a delicate warm color that
renders her absolutely adorable.
"Shall I order them to stop?" asks Hardinge, laughing still, yet
with something in his gaze that tells her he _would_ forbid them to
play if he could, if only to humor her.
"No!" says she, "and, after all,"--philosophically--"enjoyment is
only a name."
"That's all!" says Hardinge, smiling. "But a very good one."
"Let us forget it," with a little sigh, "and talk of something else,
something pleasanter."
"Than enjoyment?"
She gives way to his mood and laughs afresh.
"Ah! you have me there!" says she.
"I have not, indeed," he returns quietly, and with meaning. "Neither
there, nor anywhere."
He gets up suddenly, and going to her, bends over the chair on which
she is sitting.
"We were talking of what?" asks she, with admirable courage, "of
names, was it not? An endless subject. _My_ name now? An absurd one
surely. Perpetua! I don't like Perpetua, do you?" She is evidently
talking at random.
"I do indeed!" says Hardinge, promptly and fervently. His tone
accentuates his meaning.
"Oh, but so harsh, so unusual!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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