'Oh--that's enough!' cried the old lady; 'I always remember what my dear
mother used to say: a crust of bread at home is better than a stuffed
turkey at another's table.'
Although this epigram of Rosalie's mother was simply nonsense when
applied to the unhappy Claude, whose acute dyspepsia seldom permitted
him to drink even a glass of wine, it wounded René as deeply as if it
had been thoroughly deserved. This was because he saw in it yet another
sign of deep and ever-increasing hostility between his old associations
and the new life for which since that morning he so eagerly and ardently
longed. These people had a right to him--a fuller right than Madame
Offarel knew, for was he not bound to Rosalie by a secret understanding?
A fresh fit of irritation against this poor child came over him, and he
said to himself more firmly than before, 'I shall break it off.'
Having arrived at that decision, he went to bed, but could not sleep.
The current of his ideas had changed. He was now thinking of his letter.
It must have reached Suzanne by this, and a series of unforeseen dangers
spread itself out before his imagination. Suppose her husband were to
intercept the letter? A thrill ran through him as he thought of the
misery his imprudence might bring down upon this poor woman, in the
power of a tyrant whose brutality he could well imagine. And then, even
if the letter reached Suzanne safely, what if it displeased her? And he
was sure that such would be the case. He tried to remember the words he
had written. 'How can I have been such a fool as to write like that?' he
asked himself, and hoped that the letter might miscarry. He knew that
such things happened sometimes when people wished the contrary. Why
should it not happen now that he expressly desired it? He grew quite
ashamed of his childishness, and attributing it to the nervous
excitement of the evening, began once more to curse Madame Offarel's
mean-spirited remarks. His irritability against the mother paralysed all
pity for the daughter. He passed the night in this fashion, tossed
between two kinds of tortures, until he fell into that deep morning
sleep which is more tiring than refreshing; on awaking, the first
thought that occurred to him was his desire, stronger than ever, to
break off his engagement.
What means could he employ? A very simple expedient presented itself to
his mind at once--ask the girl to make an appointment. It was so easy,
too! How many times had she not let him know when Madame Offarel would
be out, so that he could come to the Rue Bagneux sure of finding her
alone with Angélique; and how considerate the latter had always been in
leaving the two lovers together and in peace! This was undoubtedly the
most loyal means to adopt. But the poet could not even bear to think of
such an interview.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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