René would have purchased with his blood the shadow of the shadow of a
doubt, but the more he dwelt upon all the details that had led to his
conviction the more firmly did that conviction take root in his heart.
'But if she had been paying a harmless visit?' hazarded the voice of
love. Harmless? Would she have concealed her destination from her
coachman? Would she have gone out by the other door, thickly veiled,
walking straight before her, but looking furtively about her just as she
did on leaving him? And then the appearance of Desforges almost
immediately after at the other entrance! . . . All the proofs brought
forward by Claude occurred to him one after another--the Society
rumours, the recent ruin of the Moraines, the post obtained for the
husband, the suggestion made to him by Suzanne for purchasing shares,
and her lies, now proved to be such. 'What more positive proofs can I
have,' he asked himself, 'except one?' And as the terrible vision of
Suzanne in the arms of her aged lover rose up before him he closed his
eyes in pain. Then came thoughts of her visit to the Rue Coëtlogon and
of the letter he had in his pocket. 'And she dares ask to see me? What
can she have to say? I will go, as she asks, and take my revenge by
insulting her as Claude insults Colette. . . . No,' he continued, 'that
would be degrading myself to her level; true revenge consists in
ignoring her. I shall not go.'
He wavered between these two decisions, feeling quite powerless to make
up his mind, so intense was his longing to see Suzanne once more and so
sincere his resolution not to be duped again by her lies. His perplexity
became so great that he resolved to go and ask Claude's advice. Now only
did he begin to feel some surprise that this faithful friend had not
sent to inquire about him in the morning, as he had promised to do.
'I'll go and call on him, although he'll probably not be in,' said René
as he bent his steps towards the Rue de Varenne. It was about half-past
ten when he rang the ponderous bell of the Sainte-Euverte mansion. There
was a light burning in one of the apartments occupied by Claude, who,
contrary to René's expectations, was not out. The poet found him in the
smoking-room, the first of the small set at the top of the stairs. A
lamp with a pink globe shed a soft light round the apartment, the walls
of which were adorned with a large piece of tapestry and a copy of the
'Triumph of Death' attributed to Orcagna. In a corner of the room the
bluish flame of a spirit lamp was burning under a small tea kettle;
this, with the two cups, a decanter of sherry, and some _bouchées au
foie gras_ on a china dish were proofs that the occupant of this quiet
abode expected a visitor. A bundle of small Russian cigarettes with long
mouthpieces--Colette's favourites--plainly revealed to René who that
visitor was. He would still have hesitated to believe his own eyes had
not Claude, in evident embarrassment, said, with a shamefaced smile:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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