He loved Suzanne, and Suzanne loved him. Why should he not attempt to
save her, in the name of that sublime passion, from the infamy that
covered her, and try to drag himself away from the dark abyss of death
towards which he felt drawn? Why should he not offer her this unique
opportunity of repairing the hideous wretchedness of her fate? But
she--what answer would she make? 'I shall know then whether she loves
me,' continued René. 'Yes--if she loves me, how eagerly will she seize
this means of escaping from the horrible luxury to which she is chained!
And if she says no?' A thrill of terror shot through him at the thought.
'It will be time enough to act then,' he concluded.
The whirlwind of passion let loose by the sudden conception of this plan
raged for nearly three hours. As his thoughts swayed hither and thither
the poet seemed unconscious of the fact that his mind was already made
up, and that the fluctuations only served to disguise from him the one
feeling that dominated all the rest--a furious longing, amounting almost
to a necessity, to have his mistress back. Even had this plan of
elopement been more irrational, more impracticable, and less likely to
succeed, he would have taken it up as the most reasonable, the easiest,
and most certain of success, simply because it was the only one that
reconciled the irrepressible ardour of his love with that dignity his
still unsullied honour would never compromise.
'To action,' he said at last. He sat down to his table and wrote Suzanne
a note in which he asked her to be at home the next day at two o'clock.
He took the letter to the post himself, and immediately experienced that
relief which invariably follows upon some definite resolve. He who for a
whole week, and ever since his first wild fit of grief, had felt himself
unable to put forth the least energy, and incapable even of opening the
manuscript of his 'Savonarola,' at once set about preparing everything,
as if there could be no doubt what Suzanne's reply would be. He counted
out the money he had in his drawer; there was a little over five
thousand francs. That would suffice for the initial expenses. And
afterwards? He made a calculation of the amount to which he was entitled
out of the patrimony that had never been divided between Emilie and
himself. The great thing was to get over the first two years, during
which he would finish his play and have it staged. Immediately after
that he would publish his novel, which the success of his piece would
help on, just as one wave sweeps on another, and then would come his
collection of poems. A boundless horizon of work and of triumph seemed
to lie before him. Of what efforts would he not be capable, sustained by
the divine elixir of happiness and by the desire to provide Suzanne with
that luxury she would have sacrificed for him? When his sister entered
his room she surprised him arranging his papers, putting his books in
order, and sorting some prints.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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