'Why should it matter to me whether it is the custom of the English? I
am not English,' said Laura Wing. Then her companion explained that he
only wanted a general guidance--that with her (she was so kind) he had
not the sense of having taken a liberty. The point was simply--and
rather comprehensively and strenuously he began to set forth the point.
Laura interrupted him; she said she didn't care about it and he almost
irritated her by telling her she was kind. She was, but she was not
pleased at its being recognised so soon; and he was still too
importunate when he asked her whether she continued to go by American
usage, didn't find that if one lived there one had to conform in a great
many ways to the English. She was weary of the perpetual comparison, for
she not only heard it from others--she heard it a great deal from
herself. She held that there were certain differences you felt, if you
belonged to one or the other nation, and that was the end of it: there
was no use trying to express them. Those you _could_ express were not
real or not important ones and were not worth talking about. Mr.
Wendover asked her if she liked English society and if it were superior
to American; also if the tone were very high in London. She thought his
questions 'academic'--the term she used to see applied in the _Times_ to
certain speeches in Parliament. Bending his long leanness over her (she
had never seen a man whose material presence was so insubstantial, so
unoppressive) and walking almost sidewise, to give her a proper
attention, he struck her as innocent, as incapable of guessing that she
had had a certain observation of life. They were talking about totally
different things: English society, as he asked her judgment upon it and
she had happened to see it, was an affair that he didn't suspect. If
she were to give him that judgment it would be more than he doubtless
bargained for; but she would do it not to make him open his eyes--only
to relieve herself. She had thought of that before in regard to two or
three persons she had met--of the satisfaction of breaking out with some
of her feelings. It would make little difference whether the person
understood her or not; the one who should do so best would be far from
understanding everything. 'I want to get out of it, please--out of the
set I live in, the one I have tumbled into through my sister, the people
you saw just now. There are thousands of people in London who are
different from that and ever so much nicer; but I don't see them, I
don't know how to get at them; and after all, poor dear man, what power
have you to help me?' That was in the last analysis the gist of what she
had to say.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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