The poor girl added, added, deep in her heart, while she said nothing.
The music was not there now, to keep them silent; yet he remained quiet,
even as she did, and that for some minutes was a part of her addition.
She felt as if she were running a race with failure and shame; she would
get in first if she should get in before the degradation of the morrow.
But this was not very far off, and every minute brought it nearer. It
would be there in fact, virtually, that night, if Mr. Wendover should
begin to realise the brutality of Selina's not turning up at all. The
comfort had been, hitherto, that he didn't realise brutalities. There
were certain violins that emitted tentative sounds in the orchestra;
they shortened the time and made her uneasier--fixed her idea that he
could lift her out of her mire if he would. It didn't appear to prove
that he would, his also observing Lady Ringrose's empty box without
making an encouraging comment upon it. Laura waited for him to remark
that her sister obviously would turn up now; but no such words fell from
his lips. He must either like Selina's being away or judge it damningly,
and in either case why didn't he speak? If he had nothing to say, why
_had_ he said, why had he done, what did he mean----? But the girl's
inward challenge to him lost itself in a mist of faintness; she was
screwing herself up to a purpose of her own, and it hurt almost to
anguish, and the whole place, around her, was a blur and swim, through
which she heard the tuning of fiddles. Before she knew it she had said
to him, 'Why have you come so often?'
'So often? To see you, do you mean?'
'To see _me_--it was for that? Why have you come?' she went on. He was
evidently surprised, and his surprise gave her a point of anger, a
desire almost that her words should hurt him, lash him. She spoke low,
but she heard herself, and she thought that if what she said sounded to
_him_ in the same way----! 'You have come very often--too often, too
often!'
He coloured, he looked frightened, he was, clearly, extremely startled.
'Why, you have been so kind, so delightful,' he stammered.
'Yes, of course, and so have you! Did you come for Selina? She is
married, you know, and devoted to her husband.' A single minute had
sufficed to show the girl that her companion was quite unprepared for
her question, that he was distinctly not in love with her and was face
to face with a situation entirely new. The effect of this perception was
to make her say wilder things.
'Why, what is more natural, when one likes people, than to come often?
Perhaps I have bored you--with our American way,' said Mr. Wendover.
'And is it because you like me that you have kept me here?' Laura asked.
She got up, leaning against the side of the box; she had pulled the
curtain far forward and was out of sight of the house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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