Adultery -- Fiction; French fiction -- 19th century
One especially came before him--one whose conquest had not been effected
for the flattering of his fatuity, for she was but a girl was Aline, who
had died of consumption in the autumn of 1880. He could again see her
with her hollow eyes, her delicate cheek, and the blending of native
purity and corruption that was in her. He could see her nursing a little
sister whom she had taken to be with her, a child four years of age.
What affecting kindliness in vice, and what innocence in infamy! Yes,
Aline loved him, although she had three or four other lovers at the same
time as himself. His chief pleasure used to consist in taking this
pretty, ruined creature into the country to enjoy the childish outbreaks
of rusticity that prompted her to pick flowers, to listen to the birds,
to lean upon his arm, as though she had never exercised her hideous
profession.
What a mysterious thing is memory! He was on the eve of his first
assignation with Helen, and here he was growing tender over poor Aline,
evoking her as she was when he had so often sought her in her rooms in
the Rue de Moscow; as she was at certain moments when he had loved or
nearly loved her--on a summer evening, for instance, when she was seated
in the stern of a boat rowed on the Seine by four oarsmen of their
acquaintance. Yes, she was seated in a bright dress, looking at him over
the heads of the youths as they alternately stooped and rose. A
stillness was falling upon the river. A fine of orange was trailing
along the margin of the sky. What unspeakable emotion had bathed his
soul as he was sensible of the passing hour, the quivering water, the
living creature, and the dying light!
He ascended his staircase with these thoughts. Why this fatal
incompleteness in all his passions? Why was he incapable of attaining to
that absolute of tenderness which he conceived, of which he had
glimpses, towards which he sprang at every new intrigue? And
then--nothing! And yet how many chances had been combined for him; and
while his servant was relieving him of his overcoat, and he was passing
into the drawing-room, in which he often read at night before going to
bed, he mentally enumerated these chances: a fortune which enabled him
to pursue his fancies without much need of calculation; a genuine and
ancient title; ability to maintain a position in society that pleased
him; a robustness of health that could not recall a week of sickness; a
taste for intellectual things just sufficient to occupy his attention
without annoyance, for, absolutely free from personal ambition, he had
never ceased to be interested as an amateur by the attractions of
literature and art.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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