Adultery -- Fiction; French fiction -- 19th century
The cab having meanwhile climbed the beginning of the ascent of the Rue
de Rome, was turning down past the wall of a private garden which forms
the corner of the Rue de Stockholm, and the driver leaned down from his
seat to ask Helen where he was to stop.
"Here," she said.
She got out, and placed the small gold piece in the man's hand, saying
to him:
"Keep it, keep it."
Then she was immediately afraid that he would guess why she did not wait
for the change, and she stopped and busied herself with gazing, without
reading it, at a placard affixed to the wall, until she heard the cab
wheels rolling away. She followed the footpath, lifting her head with a
throbbing of the heart which seemed to be driving her mad. Eight,
ten--two numbers more, and she had reached the house mentioned in the
note. She entered the gateway, seeing nothing. She passed in front of
the porter thinking that her limbs would not support her. Her feet were
giving way on the stair-carpet. One more effort, and she was at the door
of the apartments on the second floor.
She leaned against this closed door. Not a sound was to be heard on the
staircase; not a sound came up from the street. She could hear the
beatings of her heart, and instead of ringing she remained where she
was. She wanted to recover a little calmness before appearing in
Armand's presence. Why had she come here? To make him happy! What, then,
would be the good of letting him see how much she had suffered? Her
heart beat less rapidly; she forced herself to smile; and the thought of
the happiness she was about to give was already a happiness to her
greater than her anguish had just been.
She at last made up her mind to ring. The tinkling was succeeded by the
sound of footsteps, the key turned in the lock, and she sank upon
Armand's bosom, and was immediately drawn into a little drawing-room
furnished in blue. Flames were burning in the fire-place. At the first
glance Helen saw that there was no bed in the apartment. She had so
dreaded the sight of this on first entering that she felt an infinite
gratitude to Armand for having selected their place of meeting in such
a way as to spare her this initial shock. He, meanwhile, had unfastened
both her veils, taken off her bonnet, compelled her to sit down in an
arm-chair beside the fire, and, kneeling in front of her, was clasping
her almost madly, repeating again and again:
"Ah, my love! how sweet of you to come!"
And he gazed at her with eyes made very loving with the joy of desire
that is certain of its satisfaction--the joy of desire only, for on
seeing her smile at him with that easy smile to which she had compelled
her countenance, in order not to displease him, he had just told himself
that it was not the first time that she had come to a like meeting, and
a terrible duality had been set up within him between his sensations and
his thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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