Adultery -- Fiction; French fiction -- 19th century
Once more the necessity for action pressed in its inevitableness upon
this purely speculative nature. His thoughts distributed themselves
again into two groups.
"Either they love each other or they do not love each other. If they
do?--If they do not?--How can I find out? From her? From him?"
The thought of coming to an explanation with De Querne presented itself
abruptly, and as this thought, while satisfying the need for acting,
deferred the action for several hours, Alfred began mentally to muster
all the arguments that told in its favour.
Such an explanation would not involve any of the drawbacks which must
follow a conversation with Helen. If Armand and she did not love each
other, everything would remain as it was, since she was in ignorance of
her husband's suspicion and of the step that he had taken. If they were
in love with each other, he would extort the acknowledgment of the fact
more readily from the loyalty of his friend. The latter at least had not
lied to him. Could he have replied otherwise than as he did to Helen's
phrase, that simple phrase that was so terrible to himself, Alfred: "How
have you been since yesterday?" To receive the young man with these
words was tantamount to a prohibition to speak.
Again, there are suspicions respecting which one friend has no right to
keep silence towards another. If he, Alfred, were to learn that Armand
had harboured an insulting distrust of him in his heart without speaking
of it, would he not feel deeply wounded? Would he not consider such
silence an unwarrantable affront? Well, then, he would not offer this
affront to De Querne. He would go to him with open hand and heart, and
show him all his trouble. Such a step had further in its favour the fact
that it would involve practical results. He might ask his friend to come
to the Rue de La Rochefoucauld less frequently. If he were mistaken in
his distrust, and if the real cause of Helen's grief had been confided
to Armand, he might speak of it without indelicacy on that occasion, in
the course of the conversation.
During the whole of that long night he turned this plan over and over,
and in the end it impressed itself upon his will. Towards morning, he
fell into that dark overwhelming sleep which follows upon excessive
deperditions of nervous energy. Upon awaking, he again found himself
face to face with his resolution of the night before; he foresaw, unless
he acted, a day worse than that horrible night, and at nine o'clock he
was ringing at Armand's door, not without a thrilling of his whole
heart, yet with decision. These abstract souls, to whom action is so
repellent, are capable of energy, provided this energy be sustained by
reasoning, just as impassioned souls derive their force from blind
impulse, and arid souls from a clear perception of self-interest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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