France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
For eight days it had been Hélène’s diversion to gaze on that mighty
expanse of Paris, and she never wearied of doing so. It was as
unfathomable and varying as the ocean—fair in the morning, ruddy with
fire at night, borrowing all the joys and sorrows of the heavens
reflected in its depths. A flash of sunshine came, and it would roll in
waves of gold; a cloud would darken it and raise a tempest. Its aspect
was ever changing. A complete calm would fall, and all would assume an
orange hue; gusts of wind would sweep by from time to time, and turn
everything livid; in keen, bright weather there would be a shimmer of
light on every housetop; whilst when showers fell, blurring both heaven
and earth, all would be plunged in chaotic confusion. At her window
Hélène experienced all the hopes and sorrows that pertain to the open
sea. As the keen wind blew in her face she imagined it wafted a saline
fragrance; even the ceaseless noise of the city seemed to her like that
of a surging tide beating against a rocky cliff.
The book fell from her hands. She was dreaming, with a far-away look in
her eyes. When she stopped reading thus it was from a desire to linger
and understand what she had already perused. She took a delight in
denying her curiosity immediate satisfaction. The tale filled her soul
with a tempest of emotion. Paris that morning was displaying the same
vague joy and sorrow as that which disturbed her heart. In this lay a
great charm—to be ignorant, to guess things dimly, to yield to slow
initiation, with the vague thought that her youth was beginning again.
How full of lies were novels! She was assuredly right in not reading
them. They were mere fables, good for empty heads with no proper
conception of life. Yet she remained entranced, dreaming unceasingly of
the knight Ivanhoe, loved so passionately by two women—Rebecca, the
beautiful Jewess, and the noble Lady Rowena. She herself thought she
could have loved with the intensity and patient serenity of the latter
maiden. To love! to love! She did not utter the words, but they
thrilled her through and through in the very thought, astonishing her,
and irradiating her face with a smile. In the distance some fleecy
cloudlets, driven by the breeze, now floated over Paris like a flock of
swans. Huge gaps were being cleft in the fog; a momentary glimpse was
given of the left bank, indistinct and clouded, like a city of fairydom
seen in a dream; but suddenly a thick curtain of mist swept down, and
the fairy city was engulfed, as though by an inundation. And then the
vapors, spreading equally over every district, formed, as it were, a
beautiful lake, with milky, placid waters. There was but one denser
streak, indicating the grey, curved course of the Seine. And slowly
over those milky, placid waters shadows passed, like vessels with pink
sails, which the young woman followed with a dreamy gaze. To love! to
love! She smiled as her dream sailed on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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