France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
To love! to love! Why did these words ring in Hélène’s ears with such
sweetness as the darkness of the fog gave way to light? Had she not
loved her husband, whom she had tended like a child? But a bitter
memory stirred within her—the memory of her dead father, who had hung
himself three weeks after his wife’s decease in a closet where her
gowns still dangled from their hooks. There he had gasped out his last
agony, his body rigid, and his face buried in a skirt, wrapped round by
the clothes which breathed of her whom he had ever worshipped. Then
Hélène’s reverie took a sudden leap. She began thinking of her own
home-life, of the month’s bills which she had checked with Rosalie that
very morning; and she felt proud of the orderly way in which she
regulated her household. During more than thirty years she had lived
with self-respect and strength of mind. Uprightness alone impassioned
her. When she questioned her past, not one hour revealed a sin; in her
mind’s eye she saw herself ever treading a straight and level path.
Truly, the days might slip by; she would walk on peacefully as before,
with no impediment in her way. The very thought of this made her stern,
and her spirit rose in angry contempt against those lying lives whose
apparent heroism disturbs the heart. The only true life was her own,
following its course amidst such peacefulness. But over Paris there now
only hung a thin smoke, a fine, quivering gauze, on the point of
floating away; and emotion suddenly took possession of her. To love! to
love! everything brought her back to that caressing phrase—even the
pride born of her virtue. Her dreaming became so light, she no longer
thought, but lay there, steeped in springtide, with moist eyes.
At last, as she was about to resume her reading, Paris slowly came into
view. Not a breath of wind had stirred; it was as if a magician had
waved his wand. The last gauzy film detached itself, soared and
vanished in the air; and the city spread out without a shadow, under
the conquering sun. Hélène, with her chin resting on her hand, gazed on
this mighty awakening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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