"Who could share it with you?" he asked, evasively.
"I do not know, I only know that it must be all or none for me," she
answered. "It is all--is it not, Lance?"
He kissed her and would fain have said yes, but it came home to him with
a sharp conviction that his heart had been given to one woman, and one
only--no other could ever possess it.
A few days afterward, when Lord Chandos expressed a wish to go to the
opera again, his wife looked at him in wonder.
"Again?" she said. "Why, Lance, it is only two nights since you were
there, and it is the same opera; you will grow tired of it."
"The only amusement I really care for is the opera," he said. "I am
growing too lazy for balls, but I never tire of music."
He said to himself, that if for the future he wished to go to the opera
he would not mention the fact, but would go without her.
They went out that evening: the opera was "Norma." Lord Chandos heard
nothing and saw nothing but the wondrous face of Norma; every note of
that music went home to his heart--the love, the trust, the reproaches.
When she sang them in her grandly pathetic voice, it was as though each
one were addressed to himself. Three times did Lady Chandos address him
without any response, a thing which in her eyes was little less than a
crime.
"How you watch La Vanira," she said. "I am sure you admire her very
much."
He looked at her with eyes that were dazed--that saw nothing; the eyes
of a man more than half mad.
"And now look," she said. "Why, Lance, La Vanira is looking at me. What
eyes she has. They stir my very heart and trouble me. They are saying
something to me."
"Marion, hush! What are you talking about?" he cried.
"La Vanira's eyes--she is looking at me, Lance."
"Nonsense!" he said, and the one word was so abruptly pronounced that
Lady Chandos felt sure it was nonsense and said no more.
But after that evening he said no more about going to the opera. If he
felt any wish to go, he would go; it would be quite easy for him to make
some excuse to her.
And those evenings grew more and more frequent. He did not dare to
disobey Leone; he did not dare to go to her house, or to offer to see
her in the opera house. He tried hard to meet her accidentally, but that
happy accident never occurred; yet he could not rest, he must see her;
something that was stronger than himself drew him near her.
He was weak of purpose; he never resolutely took himself in hand and
said:
"I am married now. I have a wife at home. Leone's beauty, Leone's
talents, are all less than nothing to me. I will be true to my wife."
He never said that; he never braced his will, or his energies to the
task of forgetting her; he dallied with the temptation as he had done
before; he allowed himself to be tempted as he had done before; the
result was that he fell as he had fallen before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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