Every day his first thought was how he could possibly get away that
evening without drawing particular attention to his movements; and he
went so often that people began to laugh and to tease him and to wonder
why he was always there.
Leone always saw him. If any one had been shrewd and quick enough to
follow her, they would have seen that she played to one person; that her
eyes turned to him continually; that the gestures of her white arms
seemed to woo him. She never smiled at him, but there were times, when
she was singing some lingering, pathetic notes, it seemed as though she
were almost waiting for him to answer her.
He did not dare to go behind the scenes, to linger near the door, to
wait for her carriage, but his life was consumed with the one eager
desire to see her. He went night after night to the box; he sat in the
same place; he leaned his arms on the same spot, watching her with eyes
that seemed to flash fire as they rested on her.
People remarked it at last, and began to wonder if it could be possible
that Lord Chandos, with that beautiful wife, the queen of blondes, was
beginning to care for La Vanira; he never missed one night of her
acting, and he saw nothing but her when she was on the stage.
Again one evening Lady Chandos said to him:
"Lance, have you noticed how seldom you spend an evening--that is, the
whole of an evening--with me? If you go to a ball with me, it seems to
me that you are always absent for an hour or two."
"You have a vivid imagination, my dear wife," he replied.
And yet he knew it was on the night Leone played; he could no more have
kept from going to see her than he could have flown; it was stronger
than himself, the impulse that led him there.
Then his nights became all fever; his days all unrest; his whole heart
and soul craved with passionate longing for one half hour with her, and
yet he dared not seek it. Even then, had he striven to conquer his love,
and have resolutely thought of his duty, his good faith and his loyalty,
he would have conquered, as any strong man can conquer when he likes; he
never tried. When the impulse led him, he went; when the temptation came
to him to think of her, he thought of her, when the temptation came to
him to love her, he gave way to it and never once set his will against
it.
Then, when the fever of his longing consumed him, and his life had grown
intolerable to him, he wrote a note to her; it said simply:
"DEAR LEONE,--Life is very sad. Do let us be friends--why should we
not? Life is so short. Let us be friends. I am very miserable;
seeing you sometimes would make me happy. Let us be friends, Leone.
Why refuse me? I will never speak of love--the word shall never be
mentioned. You shall be to me like my dearest, best-beloved sister.
I will be your brother, your servant, and your friend; only give
me, for God's dear sake, the comfort of seeing you. Leone, be
friends."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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