“Never again,” she said to herself, “shall I be guilty of such folly.
Never again,” she repeated, “need I run such an awful risk. Never again
shall I think of that poor fellow, for I shall never need to. Out of
justice to him I had to see him, even though at a distance, and without
his seeing me. It would have been cowardly not to have gone, it would
not have been in keeping with my character. But it would be cowardice in
me to go again. It would be weak. After all I had to indulge my
curiosity, it would have been fatal to have suppressed it. Now I know
the worst and the affair is closed for ever. If I were to go again it
would be painful to me and unjust to him, for I might be recognised; if
he heard that I had been twice it would fill him with false hopes. He
might conclude that I wished to speak with him. Nothing, nothing could
be farther from the truth. I think he is mad. I feel sure he is mad.
Talking to him would be like those interviews that people have to have
once a year with their insane relatives. But fortunately for me my duty
coincides with my inclinations--I ought not to see him and I abhor the
thought of doing so. There is no more to be said.”
It was not often that Miss Lackett was so consistent in her thoughts,
neither, we may add, was she often quite so prim. She managed to repeat
such phrases over and over again to herself throughout the week, but
somehow she did not succeed in forgetting all about Mr. Cromartie, or
even in putting him out of her thoughts for more than an hour or two at
a time.
On the fourth day after her visit it so happened that General Lackett
gave a dinner-party at which his daughter acted as hostess. Several of
the guests were young, and one or two of them not very well to do. It
was natural in these circumstances, as the General had rather
thoughtlessly dismissed his chauffeur for the evening, that his daughter
should offer to drive some of her young friends home. One of them lived
in Frognal, two others in Circus Road, St. John’s Wood. On the outward
journey Miss Lackett took the ordinary route from Eaton Square, that is,
by Park Lane, Baker Street, Lord’s, and the Finchley Road as far as
Frognal, afterwards bringing her other companions back to Circus Road.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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