Thus nothing appeared to her to be more clear than that Mr. Cromartie
would leave the Zoo, and the loss of a finger was perhaps not too high a
price to pay for restoring him to ordinary ways, or perhaps she might
say not too great a punishment for conduct such as his had been.
And it crossed her mind also that now there was no need for her to
humble herself to Cromartie, for he would leave the Zoo and become
reconciled to her now as a matter of course. It was for her to forgive
him! She had had a narrow escape. What a weak position she might have
been in had she seen him before the ape bit him! How strong a position
she now occupied! She must, she reflected, take this lesson to heart and
never act hurriedly on the impulse of the moment, otherwise she would
give John every advantage and there would be no dealing with him at all.
Next she recollected the letter she had sent him, and spent a little
while trying to recall the exact terms of it. When she remembered that
she had said that she was ashamed and had asked to be forgiven, she bit
her lips with vexation, but the next moment she stopped short and said
aloud: “How unworthy this is of you! How petty! How vulgar!”
And she remembered at that moment all the vulgar and horrible things she
had felt when she had first learnt that John had gone to the Zoo, and
how much ashamed she was of them afterwards, and how hatefully she had
behaved on both of her visits to him. She told herself then that she
ought to be ashamed, ought to ask forgiveness, and that she ought to be
thankful that she had done so in her letter, but in the next instant she
was saying to herself: “All the same, it won’t do to put myself at his
mercy. I must keep the upper hand or my life won’t be worth living.” And
after that her mind raced off again to visions of the future in which
John was rewarded with her hand and they took a country house. Her
father was an authority on fishponds and trout streams. He and Cromartie
would of course lay out a fishpond. Perhaps there would be a moat round
the house. But the figure who bent over her father’s shoulder at
breakfast, pushing away the egg-boiling machine to look at a plan of the
new trout hatchery, that figure was a very different person from Mr.
Cromartie the mutilated, monkey-bitten man in the Zoo.
When Josephine got home she found a note which had been left for her,
but which was not in Mr. Cromartie’s handwriting.
It ran as follows:
Infirmary, Zoo.
DEAR JOSEPHINE,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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