Cost and standard of living -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Wealth -- Fiction
“Mrs. Jericho,” said the husband, bolting himself upright in bed,
and looking aside, down upon the face of his unmoved wife—“will
you permit me to sleep, now I’ve come to my own bed? I think it
particularly hard when a man has been out all the day as I have been,
toiling for his wife and family—I say I think it particularly hard”—
“I don’t want to prevent your sleeping, Mr. Jericho. Sleep as long
as the sleeping beauty, and I’m sure I should be the last person to
attempt to wake you. All I want to ask of you is what I asked in the
morning. Nothing more. When shall I have some money?”
“Zounds, woman!”—cried Jericho.
“Don’t call me woman—man!” exclaimed Mrs. Jericho. “Major
Pennibacker”—
“He was only a captain,” hiccupped Jericho.
“Major Pennibacker,” reiterated his widow, “a soldier and a
gentleman, never called me woman yet. Glorious creature! His sword
would rattle in its scabbard if he knew how I was treated.”
“Is this the time,” cried Jericho, a little fiercely, “the time to
talk of swords and scabbards, with the sun shining in at the windows?
Why can’t you let me go to sleep, and talk at the proper horns? After
a man has been toiling and slaving for his wife and family”—
“No doubt. And I wonder how many wives—and how many families—that’s
it!” cried Mrs. Jericho, with a strange, cutting significance, that
instantly levelled her husband; for Solomon desperately stretched
himself in the bed; and lugging the nightcap over his ears, turned
round, determined upon plucking up sleep, like poppies, by the roots.
“I’m not to be deceived by your indignation, Mr. Jericho. I know
everything, or else where could your money go to? However, as I
said, I will no longer be made a cat’s-paw of. For eight years
have I been married to you, under what I may call false pretences.
People called you the Golden Jericho, or is it likely that I could
have forgotten the heroic man who—I feel it—has a slight put upon
him in his warrior’s grave, by your being in the nightcap you wear
at this moment? However, he forgives me. At least, I trust”—and
Mrs. Jericho spoke with a spasm—“I trust he does. It was all for
the sake of his precious orphans that I am in the bed I am. Yes,
Pennibacker”—and his widow cast up her eyes, as though addressing her
first husband, looking down benignly upon her from the tester—“Yes,
dear Pennibacker, you know for what I sacrificed the best of wives,
and the most disconsolate of widows. I could have wished, like
the Hindoo, to be burnt upon the pyre; I was equal to it; I could
have rejoiced in it. But I re-married, unwillingly re-married, to
sacrifice myself for our children. Yes, Pennibacker”—
“Damn Pennibacker!” cried Jericho.
“Mr. Jericho,” said Pennibacker’s widow, with her deepest voice, and
with thunder brooding at her brows—“Mr. Jericho, will you dare to
desecrate the ashes of the dead? Demon! Will you?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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