A few nights later I joined them in the middle of the performance at
Koster and Bials. Nina looked away from the stage only long enough to
say "Hello." She was vibrant with excitement. Norman and I sat back in
the box much more interested in her than in the commonplaces of the
stage. We were both rather ill at ease in so senseless and light-minded
a place.
"This experience," he said and I thought I caught a tone of apology in
his voice, "is bringing me a closer understanding of the life of the
poor. Of course they’d resent my saying that Nina helped me to
understand them. The poor are the worst of all snobs. We ’reformers’
believe in the working-class a lot more than they do in themselves.
It’s hard to get at them—we only meet the kind who know how to talk and
most of them are mute. The chaps in my Studenten Verein long for
education. They envy us who had it forced on us—and, of course, pose
before us. You can’t really get to people who envy you.
"But Nina never studied—barely reads—don’t want to. This sort of thing
is her _summum bonum_. I haven’t found anything that makes her happier
than for me to put on evening clothes and take her to a flashy up-town
restaurant. And she can’t help talking. She has no
self-consciousness—no pose. What she says is reality. It’s the wisdom
of the tenements she babbles out—the venerable philosophy of the poor.
I’m learning a lot from her."
"You needn’t apologize to me," I said.
"I wasn’t apologizing," he retorted. "Why should I?"
"I said you needn’t."
"But you meant that I ought to—not to you, but to somebody. To whom?
To God? To Mrs. Grundy? No—why should I apologize?"—He threw his arm
back so that his hand lay on my shoulder, it was the nearest our great
love for each other ever came to the expression of a caress—"I know you
don’t approve, Arnold. But after all whom am I harming? You and I have
been leading a pretty glum sort of a life...."
"You have," I interrupted. "I’m in no position to chuck any
self-righteous stones."
"Oh," he said. "That’s what you meant when you said I need not
apologize to you."
"I suppose so."
"Well, to whom then? Tell me," he went on when I did not reply at once.
"I’m really glad to have the opinion of a disinterested onlooker. It
always helps. Tell me."
"Good God," I replied to his challenge, "I’m no oracle—no omniscient
voice of conscience. But it looks to me as though apologies were coming
to Nina."
"Nina?" he said in surprise.
"Yes. Don’t you see what’s happening? She’s falling in love with you.
The real thing. She never saw anybody like you before. You’re like the
shining white hero of the Bowery melodrama, who rescues the distressed
heroine at the last minute—and _marries her_. Of course you and I know
that the young millionaires with tenor voices don’t marry the distressed
damsels. But remember the kind of dope her mind is filled with. The
wedding march always starts up, just before the curtain goes down."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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