There was something, apart from her beauty, which attracted the eye
and the imagination in this tall girl in her deep mourning. This,
perhaps, was the twofold aspect which her different moods and
expressions gave to her. At one time she looked so profoundly sad,
dejected, almost despairing, that it was easy to connect her mourning
dress with the loss of what had been dearest to her. At another time
there was a buoyancy, animation, vividness, in her look which made
her black clothes seem incongruous in any other sense than that in
which a dark setting is sometimes used to throw into relief the
brilliancy of a jewel.
And these two outward manifestations did, in truth, represent the
dual nature which was Bettina's. Her mother, who had studied her with
a keen and affectionate insight, had often told her that the two
key-notes of her nature were love and ambition. So far, all the ardor
of Bettina's heart had been centred in her delicate, exquisite little
old mother, whom she had loved with something like frenzy; and it was
from the loss of this mother that she was now enduring a degree of
sorrow which might perhaps have overwhelmed her, had not the other
strong instinct of nature acted as an antidote. After some weeks of
what seemed like blank despair, the girl had roused herself with a
sort of desperation, and looked about her to see what was yet left
to her in life. Then it was that ambition had come to her rescue.
With a hardened feeling in her breast she told herself that she could
never love again in the way in which she had loved her mother, so she
must make the most of her opportunity to become a brilliant figure in
the world.
This opportunity, fortunately, was quite within sight. A path had
been opened before her feet by which she might walk to a higher rank
and position than even her extravagant dreams had led her to expect.
In the isolation of her narrow village life she had read in the
papers accounts of the English aristocracy; and to show off her
beauty in such an atmosphere, and be called by a titled name, had
fired her imagination to such a degree that her good mother had had
many a pang of fear for the future of her child.
When Bettina found herself alone, the one profound attachment of her
heart severed by death, she seemed to have no hope of relief from the
dire oppression of her position, save that which lay in the
possibilities of worldly enjoyment which might be in store for her if
she chose to accept them. These took the form of a definite
opportunity in the person of one whom her mother entirely trusted
and approved, and this in itself was enough for Bettina now. It was
little less than a marvellous prospect for a girl in her position,
but it had come about quite simply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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