It was some time before Bettina realized the changed conditions of
her life consequent upon her husband's extremely small provision for
her. In England, in the only society which she knew, it would be a
mere pittance, after what she had always had there; but in America,
in her old home, which she had always kept as her mother left it, it
would be almost riches. Sometimes she thought of going back there for
good, and leaving the great world in which she had found so little
joy. But it was this world which could give her, as she now knew, the
best substitute that can be offered for joy--active and interesting
occupation. Having once known the inspiration of this, the stagnation
of her old home was not to be thought of for a permanency. It seemed
to her best, however, to go there for a short time to look after the
money interests now become important to her, and from there to seek
some work for the faculties which she had only lately realized that
she possessed.
In her heart she could but feel a certain wounded pride in the
altered position to which her husband had deliberately condemned her.
She felt that it was his way of punishing her for not having been a
more conformable wife. He had not succeeded, in his life, in humbling
her pride; he would therefore do it now. She felt that he must have
had some intention of this sort.
That instinct was confirmed by the family lawyer, who told her, when
he came to have a talk on business, that Lord Hurdly had expressed to
him the supposition, and even the wish, that she should return to
America to live.
Under other conditions her husband's wish would have greatly
influenced her decision, but under these it had no weight whatever.
She could not help feeling that she had been harshly treated. It was
not the actual loss of money that she minded; it was the slight
implied thereby. She had married Lord Hurdly without any pretence of
loving him. He had not required that of her; and she had done her
best to maintain her position as his wife in accordance with his
wishes. These had often conflicted with her own, but in such cases
she had always yielded. She felt, therefore, that she had been
treated with injustice.
The chief sting of this feeling was in connection with the thought of
Horace. It made her flush with shame when she reflected that he was
bound to know that the man for whom she had given him up had treated
her so slightingly. Under the spur of this thought she had a wild
impulse to run away to America, where he should never see or hear of
her again. Business affairs compelled her to remain in England for a
short while, but she was quite determined to leave it before Horace
should arrive.
One morning, quite unexpectedly, she got a cable despatch from him.
It was addressed to Lady Hurdly, at Kingdon Hall, and was in these
words: "Kindly remain and act for me until I can arrive. Unavoidably
detained here.--SPOTSWOOD."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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