A Marriage in High Life, Volume IScott, Lady (Caroline Lucy)
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A Marriage in High Life, Volume I
Scott, Lady (Caroline Lucy)
Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
The altered tone of Emmeline’s voice, since he had last heard it,
probably struck Fitzhenry, for he hastily raised his eyes towards her.
Her countenance, her manner, all was changed; the bright colour in her
cheeks was gone; the smile that had played round her mouth had vanished:
Pelham’s eyes too were fixed upon her, and Fitzhenry observed it. Again
he glanced at them both, and then for some minutes seemed totally lost
in thought, till Lady Saville, moving towards the door to go, and
wishing him good night, he was roused from his reverie; he offered her
his arm, and both he and Pelham went down stairs with her.
For a few minutes, Emmeline listened for Fitzhenry’s return—she almost
hoped he would enquire into the cause of what he might deem her ill
humour: in short, at that moment, she felt she should be glad of any
opening from him that could possibly bring matters to a crisis, however
painful that crisis might be; for she felt as if it was impossible to go
on enduring her present existence. But, after pacing the room for some
time in nervous anxiety, which increased on hearing a footstep on the
stairs, she was at length obliged to give up even that hope, as Reynolds
alone entered the room, and immediately after, she heard the door of
Fitzhenry’s apartment close.
Convinced that she had now done all she could; that she had battled with
her fate as much as possible; and, seeing that every exertion and
endeavour to please and win him, only seemed to cast her further from
him, she resolved to give over the vain struggle, and for her own sake,
at least, endeavour in reality to be the frivolous, heartless being he
thought her. And thus, in a sort of desperation, flying from herself,
and from a cheerless home, which only reminded her of her blighted youth
and hopes, she followed Lady Saville to every dissipation that was
proposed. The last, and apparently the gayest, at every amusement;
bright with false smiles and false colours; poor Emmeline endeavoured to
conceal, beneath excited spirits, an aching heart: but the labour was
such, that it allowed of no respite. One day left to herself, her own
sad reflections again rushed back, and with increased acuteness—all her
disappointed, withered feelings, the suffering present, and the
cheerless future, pressed upon her soul. To pause in the mad career of
dissipation was therefore impossible. She danced, she laughed, she
talked. All shyness, all feeling even, seemed to have vanished, and her
eyes sparkled with that feverish dazzle, so unlike the bright sunshine
of happiness, but so often mistaken for it by a thoughtless,
uninterested observer. How falsely do those of the world mutually pass
sentence on each other! Meeting, perhaps, merely in the gay resorts of
fashion, each individual attributes to the other that worldliness and
frivolity which belongs to the scene, but which they apply to the
character—and how false such judgments are, those may declare, who by
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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