A Masque of Days: From the Last Essays of Elia: Newly Dressed & DecoratedLamb, Charles
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A Masque of Days: From the Last Essays of Elia: Newly Dressed & Decorated
Lamb, Charles
Holidays -- Juvenile literature
Order being restored--the young lord {who, to say truth, had been a
little ruffled & put beside his oratory} in as few, & yet as obliging
words as possible, assured them of entire welcome; &, with a graceful
turn, singling out poor Twenty-Ninth of February, that had sate all this
while mumchance at the side-board, begged to couple his health with that
of the good company before him--which he drank accordingly; observing,
that he had not seen his honest face any time these four years--with a
number of endearing expressions besides. At the same time, removing the
solitary Day from the forlorn seat which had been assigned to him, he
stationed him at his own board, somewhere between the Greek Calends and
Latter Lammas.
Ash Wednesday, being now called upon for a song, with his eyes fast stuck
in his head, & as well as the Canary he had swallowed would give him
leave, struck up a Carol, which Christmas Day had taught him for the
nonce; & was followed by the latter, who gave "Miserere" in fine style,
hitting off the mumping notes & lengthened drawl of Old Mortification with
infinite humour.
[April Fool swore they had exchanged conditions; but Good
Friday was observed to look extremely grave; & Sunday held her fan
before her face, that she might not be seen to smile.]
Shrove tide, Lord Mayor's Day, and April Fool, next joined in a glee--
Which is the properest day to drink?
in which all the days chiming in, made a merry burden.
They next fell to quibbles & conumdrums.
The question being proposed, who had the greatest number of followers--the
Quarter Days said, there could be no question as to that; for they had all
the creditors in the world dogging their heels. But April Fool gave it in
favour of the Forty Days before Easter; because the debtors in all cases
outnumbered the creditors, & they kept _lent_ all the year round.
All this while Valentine's Day kept courting pretty May, who sate next
him, slipping amorous billets-doux under the table, till the Dog Days
{who are naturally of a warm constitution} began to bark and rage
exceedingly.
April Fool, who likes a bit of sport above measure, & had some
pretensions to the lady besides as being but a cousin once
removed,--clapped & halloo'd them on; and as fast as their indignation
cooled those mad wag's, the Ember Days, were at it with their bellows, to
blow it into a flame; & all was in a ferment: till old Madame Septuagesima
{who boasts herself the Mother of the Days} wisely diverted the
conversation with a tedious tale of the lovers which she could reckon
when she was young; & of one Master Rogation Day in particular, who was
for ever putting the question to her; but she kept him at a distance, as
the chronicle wd: tell--by which I apprehend she meant the Almanack.
Then she rambled on to the Days that were gone, the good old Days, & so to
the Days before the Flood--which plainly showed her old head to be little
better than crazed & doited.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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