Betrothal -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction; Ship captains -- Fiction
“This is Mrs. Church,” he said, slowly; “this is my nevy, Cap’n Fred Flower.”
“I should have known him anywhere,” declared Mrs. Church; “the likeness is
wonderful.”
Captain Barber chuckled.
“Me and Mrs. Church have been watering the flowers,” he said. “Give ’em a good
watering, we have.”
“I never really knew before what a lot there was in watering,” admitted Mrs.
Church.
“There’s a right way and a wrong in doing everything,” said Captain Barber,
severely; “most people chooses the wrong. If it wasn’t so, those of us who have
got on, wouldn’t have got on.”
“That’s very true,” said Mrs. Church, shaking her head.
“And them as haven’t got on would have got on,” said the philosopher, following
up his train of thought. “If you would just go out and get them things I spoke
to you about, Mrs. Church, we shall be all right.”
“Who is it?” enquired the nephew, as soon as she had gone.
Captain Barber looked stealthily round, and, for the second time that evening,
winked at his nephew.
“A visitor?” said Flower.
Captain Barber winked again, and then laughed into his pipe until it gurgled.
“It’s a little plan o’ mine.” he said, when he had become a little more
composed. “She’s my housekeeper.”
“Housekeeper?” repeated the astonished Flower.
“Bein’ all alone here,” said Uncle Barber, “I think a lot. I sit an’ think
until I get an idea. It comes quite sudden like, and I wonder I never thought
of it before.”
“But what did you want a housekeeper for?” enquired his nephew. “Where’s
Lizzie?”
“I got rid of her,” said Captain Barber. “I got a housekeeper because I thought
it was time you got married. Now do you see?”
“No,” said Flower, shortly.
Captain Barber laughed softly and, relighting his pipe which had gone out,
leaned back in his chair and again winked at his indignant nephew.
“Mrs. Banks,” he said, suggestively.
His nephew gazed at him blankly.
Captain Barber, sighing good-naturedly at his dulness, turned his chair a bit
and explained the situation.
“Mrs. Banks won’t let you and Elizabeth marry till she’s gone,” said he.
His nephew nodded.
“I’ve been at her ever so long,” said the other, “but she’s firm. Now I’m
trying artfulness. I’ve got a good-looking housekeeper—she’s the pick o’
seventeen what all come here Wednesday morning—and I’m making love to her.”
“Making love to her,” shouted his nephew, gazing wildly at the venerable bald
head with the smoking-cap resting on one huge ear.
“Making love to her,” repeated Captain Barber, with a satisfied air. “What’ll
happen? Mrs. Banks, to prevent me getting married, as she thinks, will give her
consent to you an’ Elizabeth getting tied up.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of breach of promise cases?” asked his nephew, aghast.
“There’s no fear o’ that,” said Captain Barber, confidently. “It’s all right
with Mrs. Church: she’s a widder. A widder ain’t like a young girl: she knows
you don’t mean anything.”
It was useless to argue with such stupendous folly; Captain Flower tried
another tack.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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