A message from Mars : $b A fantastic comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
A message from Mars : $b A fantastic comedy in three actsGanthony, Richard
Science
A message from Mars : $b A fantastic comedy in three acts
Ganthony, Richard
Dreams -- Drama; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Drama; Man-woman relationships -- Drama; Selfishness -- Drama
HORACE. No, not at all. You might get another pillow.
MINNIE. (_Does so._) Shall I put you out the whiskey?
HORACE. Um—yes—you may as well. (_MINNIE gets whiskey from table L. and
two syphons and jar of biscuits. Aside_) Dear little girl. How she does
love me! I must get her a ring, or a pin, or a thimble to-morrow. That
will make her perfectly happy.
MINNIE. I’ll pour you out a glass. Say when.
HORACE. Upon my word, you are a perfect treasure!
MINNIE. Oh, Horace, do you really mean it? (_Pauses in pouring._)
HORACE. Of course I mean it—but go on pouring, don’t stop. Now.
MINNIE. Don’t sit up too late, dear. You mustn’t work too hard. You’ll
strain your eyes.
HORACE. No danger, but I shall want some more oil in the lamp. Will you
please tell Bella.
MINNIE. Certainly. Now promise me you won’t tire yourself. (_Kisses
him._) Promise.
HORACE. All right, dear, I promise.
MINNIE. For my sake.
(_HORACE kisses her with a touch of finality._)
MINNIE. Now I’ll see how Auntie is getting on. (_Goes to door L._)
HORACE. Minnie.
MINNIE. (_Returning, expecting a caress_) Yes?
HORACE. I was going to say——
MINNIE. Yes, darling?
HORACE. (_Changing his mind_) You won’t forget about the oil?
(_Enter AUNT in new dress, followed by BELLA with wraps, which are put on
sofa up stage. Exit BELLA R._)
AUNT. Here I am, dear. Quite ready. Haven’t I been quick?
MINNIE. Oh, Auntie, you are a picture! You ought to be framed.
HORACE. (_Aside_) And hung.
AUNT. You little flatterer. I think it is rather nice myself. Put on your
cloak, dear. Is the cab ready?
MINNIE. I don’t know—I don’t think that——
AUNT. What? Do you mean to say he hasn’t ordered a cab? Horace! Horace!
MINNIE. Don’t disturb him. He is reading the “Astronomer.”
AUNT. The “Astronomer,” indeed! I’ll make him see stars! Horace! Horace!
(_At table. MINNIE L._)
HORACE. Oh, what is it? What is it?
AUNT. Have you ordered a cab?
HORACE. I’ve ordered nothing but a little peace and quiet which doesn’t
come at my call.
AUNT. Well, why not? Horace, why have you not ordered a cab?
HORACE. Oh, bother! Don’t interrupt, for goodness’ sake!
AUNT. (_Snatches his paper away and throws it over her shoulder_) Why
haven’t you ordered a cab?
HORACE. Why should I order a cab?
AUNT. It is the very least you could do. Go and order one at once, please.
HORACE. Where are the servants?
AUNT. Bella is not engaged to run errands outside the house. I daren’t
ask cook, and Jane has company.
HORACE. Well, give her company a bob and let him go.
AUNT. Her company, as it happens, is not a he. You must go.
HORACE. Please, and clearly understand, I am not going out in the
cold again to-night. You seem to forget that I am in a very delicate
state of health, and if I were to venture out on a night like this the
consequences might be most serious.
MINNIE. Perhaps I could go.
AUNT. It’s abominable of him!
(_Enter BELLA with note._)
BELLA. A note, ma’m.
AUNT. For me?
BELLA. Yes, ma’m.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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