She stayed until he was asleep again, and then, leaving him in the
charge of Anne, returned to her own room. Too much perturbed to
methodically disrobe, she took her favourite seat by the casement
window, and rested her elbows lightly on the ledge. The moon still shone
with brilliant splendour, illumining the whole city with its silvery
radiance; and away to the east she could see the Sacred Mount upon whose
slopes she had so recently stood. The view recalled her lofty
aspirations, and endued her with courage. She was surely not so weak as
to quail at the first attack!
But the sound of her husband’s footsteps caused her heart to beat fast
again with apprehension. What would he say, she wondered, and how
display his anger? She had never seen him angry—at least, never with
her; for in all the four years of their married life they had not
quarrelled once. She glanced up from beneath her long lashes as he
entered the room, and noticed with a pang of compunction that he looked
haggard and pale. But although she longed to say something, the words
froze on her lips. Always reserved by nature, she became suddenly
self-conscious, and instead of showing sympathy, as she longed to do,
the result was a stony silence.
But Montella understood. Locking the door with his usual care, he
advanced towards the dressing-table and turned up the light. Then taking
a little chair at her side, he grasped both her hands.
“Patricia, how could you?” he said, so quietly that she could scarcely
catch his voice. “How could you, dearest? You do not realise what you
have done!”
He gazed into the depths of her eyes, as though he would read her very
soul. She looked back, and saw that there was no anger, but only deep,
impenetrable sorrow reflected there. And then he explained. He was not
so shocked that she had returned to her former religion—indeed, he had
always known that she had found Judaism difficult; but that she should
have publicly confessed her relapse, and in the very presence of the
Chief Rabbi—that was where she had done irreparable harm.
“Under those circumstances prevarication was justifiable,” he said, when
she had protested her inability to answer otherwise. “You could have
said something—anything—only to defy Ben Yetzel and put him off the
track.”
“I could not tell a deliberate falsehood,” she answered, in a voice as
low as his own. “I am sure no good ever comes of telling a lie.”
“Ah, but you do not understand!” he said, in agitation. “To Ben Yetzel
your admission is the peg on which to hang his revenge. He has hated me
ever since I opposed his priestly tyranny, and now he has the power to
ruin me. Shall I tell you the ultimatum he has given to Engelmacher
concerning us? Believe me, dearest, it is as hard for me to say as it is
for you to hear; but it is this: either I must resign my post—which
means leaving Palestine in disgrace—or—or there must be a—divorce.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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