A motley jest : $b Shakespearean diversionsAdams, Oscar Fay
General
A motley jest : $b Shakespearean diversions
Adams, Oscar Fay
Drama; Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
LAUNCE. What a very dog is this my Crab here for a stony-hearted
cur! Why but now there met us two distressed females weeping their
hearts out at their eyes, and sighing, moreover, as ’twould move a
very Turk to pity, and yet this cur took no more note on ’t than they
had been two sticks or stones. Why, the Woman of Samaria would have
plucked out her hair in pity of the twain, nay, so would I have done
the same in her stead,--yet what say I, for there’s not so much hair
on my head as my mother’s brass kettle has of its cover. A vengeance
on ’t, now where was I? O, truly, I was e’en at the Woman of Samaria.
Now, good sirs, and gentles all, the Woman of Samaria had for ruth
plucked out her hair, but did not my dog Crab, who by your leaves is
as hairy a dog as goes on one-and-twenty toes, shed even one hair
in sorrow for the twain: not e’en the smallest hair on ’s nose. And
the matter of the meeting was on this wise. This small stone, with
the crack in ’t, is the maid, she with the flowers; and I think
there be a crack in her wits, but no matter for that; this stone, a
something bigger, ay, and with a crack in ’t, too, shall be the lady
with her hair all unbound; this tree shall be the dog; nay, that’s
not so neither, for I am the tree and the tree is me, and this stick
is the dog, and thus it is. Now doth the small stone weep as ’twere
a fountain gone astray, and may not speak for weeping; now doth the
something bigger stone weep too, yet with a difference, and she doth
not speak for weeping either, and truly I did weep likewise and no
more could speak for my weeping than the poor distressed females
might, yet there came all the while no word of comfort from this
dog’s mouth, not even one tear from his lids. Pray God, gentles all,
there be no such hard hearts among any of you, or ’twere ten thousand
pities. ’Tis an ill thing to have a sour nature like my dog Crab’s,
and no good comes on ’t.
NURSE. Beshrew my heart, and that is so. My Mistress Juliet hath
the tenderest and the most pitiful heart that lives in a maid’s body,
I do think, for she will weep by the hour together if she but behold
a fly caught by the wings in a spider’s web.
MERCUTIO [_to_ ROMEO] No, Juliet, but a Niobe. Eh, man?
ROMEO. Prate not of Juliet now, for I do love
Another way from her.
MERCUTIO. O, Romeo,
Once yet again I tell thee; have a care!
[_Enter_ FALSTAFF.
FALSTAFF. This were a goodly place enow, and there were sack to
be had.
TRINCULO [_aside_] The fat fellow is verily in the right on’t,
but since the old gentleman Prospero did give us here the sack
there’s no sack here for the wishing.
FALSTAFF [_calls_] Francis.
TRINCULO. I think there be none here by that name.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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