I met her, and she told me her story--how she had married a man named
Hillmer, whom her father had trusted, and whom she believed to be able
to save them from ruin. Then the crash came. Her father died; her
husband also broke down financially, took to drink and ill-treated her;
her brother was swallowed up somewhere in the Far West. She had no
alternative but to live apart from her husband and try to support
herself by the first career that suggests itself to a young, talented,
and beautiful woman. But she was already weary of the stage and its
distasteful surroundings. Her nature was too delicate for the rude
friendships of the dressing-room. She shuddered at the thought of a mild
carousal in a bar when the labors of the night were ended.
In a word, were I differently constituted, were she cast in more common
mould, there was apparently ready to hand all the material for a vulgar
_liaison_.
My respect for my wife, however, no less than Mrs. Hillmer's fine
disposition, saved both of us from folly. Yet I could not leave her
exposed to the exigencies of a life in which she was rapidly becoming
disillusioned. Away in the depths of my heart I knew that this sweet
woman was my true mate, separated from me by adverse chance. There was
nothing unfair to Alice in the thought. Were she questioned at any time,
I suppose, she must have admitted that we were, in some respects, as
ill-matched a couple as we were well-matched in others. You will say
that I understood but little of feminine nature--nothing at all of my
wife's.
How best to help Mrs. Hillmer--that was the question. It was at this
stage I made the initial mistake to which I can, too late, trace a host
of succeeding misfortunes. I did not consult my wife. Trying now to
analyze my reasons for this lamentable error of judgment I imagined that
it arose from some absurd disinclination on my part to admit that I went
to the stage-door of a theatre to inquire about the identity of a young
woman whom I had recognized from the front of the house.
Don't you see, my dear Bruce, it is almost as bad to fear your wife as
to suspect her.
As, at that time, my own life was free from the slightest cloud of
sorrow, I took keen interest in the troubles of Mrs. Hillmer, and I
amused myself by playing, in her behalf, the part of a modern magician.
I felt intuitively that she would resent any direct attempt on my part
to place funds at her disposal, and I found a great deal of harmless fun
in helping her with her consent, but without her actual knowledge.
I am, as you know, a rich man. At this hour I cannot sum up my available
assets to within £100,000. Altogether I must be worth nearly a million
sterling--yet my money cannot purchase me another day's existence such
as I would tolerate. Strange, is it not?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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