The Earl of Cairnforth, in his imperfect fragment of a life, had had
little enough of enjoyment; but he knew how to endure better than most
people. He had, however, still to learn that existence is not wholly
endurance; that a complete human life must have in it not only
submission but resistance; the fighting against evil and in defense of
good; the struggle with divine help to overcome evil with good; and
finally the determination not to sit down tamely to misery but to strive
after happiness--lawful happiness, both for ourselves and others. In
short, not only passively to accept joy or grief, but to take means to
secure the one and escape the other; to "work out our own salvation" for
each day, as we are told to do it for an eternity, though with the same
divine limitation--humbling to all pride, and yet encouraging to
ceaseless effort--"for it is God that worketh in us both to will and
to do of His good pleasure."
That self-absorption of loss, which follows all great anguish; that
shrinking up unto one's self, which is the first and most natural
instinct of a creature smitten with a sorrow not unmingled with cruel
wrong, is, with most high natures, only temporary. By-and-by comes the
merciful touch which says to the lame, "Arise and walk;" to the sick,
"Take up thy bed and go into thine house." And the whisper of peace is,
almost invariably, a whisper of labor and effort: there is not only
something to be suffered, but something to be done.
With the earl this state was longer in coming, because the prior
collapse did not come to him at once. The excitement of perpetual
expectation--the preparing for some catastrophe, which he felt sure
was to follow, and the incessant labor entailed by his wide enquiries,
in which he had no confidant but Mr. Mearns, the clerk, and him he
trusted as little as possible, lest any suspicion or disgrace should
fall upon Helen's husband--all this kept him in a state of unnatural
activity and strength.
But when the need for action died away; when Helen's letters betrayed
nothing; and when, though she did not return, and while expressing most
bitter regret, yet gave sufficiently valid reasons for not returning in
her husband's still delicate health--after June, Lord Cairnforth fell
into a condition, less of physical than mental sickness, which lasted a
long time, and was very painful to himself, as well as to those that
loved him. He was not ill, but his usual amount of strength--so
small always--became much reduced; neither was he exactly irritable
--his sweet temper never could sink into irritability; but he was, as
Malcolm expressed it, "dour," difficult to please; easily fretted about
trifles; inclined to take sad and cynical views of things.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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