This might have been increased by certain discoveries, which, during the
summer, when he came to look into his affairs, Lord Cairnforth made. He
found that money which he had entrusted to Captain Bruce for various
purposes had been appropriated, or misappropriated, in different ways
--conduct scarcely exposing the young man to legal investigation, and
capable of being explained away as "carelessness"--"unpunctuality in
money matters"--and so on, but conduct of which no strictly upright,
honorable person would ever have been guilty. This fact accounted for
another--the captain's having expressed ardent gratitude for a sum
which he said the earl had given him for his journey and marriage
expenses, which, though Mr. Cardross's independent spirit rather
revolted from the gift, at least satisfied him about Helen's comfort
during her temporary absence. And once more, for Helen's sake, the earl
kept silence. But he felt as if every good and tender impulse of his
nature were hardening into stone.
Hardened at the core Lord Cairnforth could never be; no man can whose
heart has once admitted into its deepest sanctuary the love of One who,
when all human loves fail, still whispers, "We will come in unto him,
and make our abode with him"--ay, be it the forlornest bodily
tabernacle in which immortal soul ever dwelt. But there came an outer
crust of hardness over his nature which was years before it quite melted
away. Common observers might not perceive it--Mr. Cardross even did
not; still it was there.
The thing was inevitable. Right or wrong, deservedly or undeservedly,
most of us have at different crises of our lives known this feeling--
the bitter sense of being wronged; of having opened one's heart to the
sunshine, and had it all blighted and blackened with frost; of having
laid one's self down in a passion of devotedness for beloved feet to
walk upon, and been trampled upon, and beaten down to the dust. And as
months slipped by, and there came no Helen, this feeling, even against
his will and his conscience, grew very much upon Lord Cairnforth. In
time it might have changed him to a bitter, suspicious, disappointed
cynic, had there not also come to him, with strong conviction, one truth
--a truth preached on the shores of Galilee eighteen hundred years ago
--the only truth that can save the wronged heart from breaking--
that he who gives away only a cup of cold water shall in no wise lose
his reward. Still, the reward is not temporal, and is rarely rewarded
in kind. He--and He alone--to whom the debt is due, repays it;
not in our, but in his own way. One only consolation remains to the
sufferers from ingratitude, but that one is all-sufficing: "Inasmuch as
ye have done it unto the least of these little ones, ye have done it
unto Me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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