"Theodore,"--she went on, from time to time raising her eyes, and cautiously wringing her wondrously-beautiful fingers, with rosy, polished nails:--"Theodore, I am to blame toward you, deeply to blame,--I will say more, I am a criminal; but do you listen to me; repentance tortures me, I have become a burden to myself, I could not longer endure my position; how many times have I meditated returning to you, but I feared your wrath;--I have decided to break every connection with the past ... _puis, j'ai ete si malade_,--I have been so ill,"--she added, and passed her hand across her brow and her cheek,--"I have taken advantage of the rumour of my death which had got into circulation, I have abandoned everything; without halting, day and night I have hastened hither; I have hesitated, for a long time, to present myself before you, my judge--_paraitre devant vous, mon juge_,--but, at last, I made up my mind, remembering your invariable kindness, to come to you; I learned your address in Moscow. Believe me," she continued, softly rising from the floor, and seating herself on the very edge of an arm-chair:--"I have often meditated death, and I would have summoned up sufficient courage to take my life--akh, life is now an intolerable burden to me!--but the thought of my daughter, of my Adotchka, held me back; she is here, she is asleep in the adjoining room, poor child! She is weary,--you shall see her: she, at least, is not guilty toward you,--and I am so unhappy, so unhappy!"--exclaimed Mme. Lavretzky, and burst into tears. Lavretzky came to himself, at last; he separated himself from the wall, and moved toward the door. "You are going away?"--said his wife, in despair:--"oh, this is cruel!--Without saying one word to me, without even one reproach.... This scorn is killing me, this is terrible!" Lavretzky stopped short. "What is it that you wish to hear from me?"--he uttered, in a toneless voice. "Nothing, nothing,"--she caught him up with vivacity:--"I know that I have no right to demand anything;--I am not a fool, believe me;--I do not hope, I do not dare to hope for your forgiveness;--I only venture to entreat you, that you will give me directions what I am to do, where I am to live?--I will fulfil your command, whatever it may be, like a slave." "I have no commands to give you,"--returned Lavretzky, in the same voice:--"you know, that everything is at an end between us ... and now more than ever.--You may live where you see fit;--and if your allowance is insufficient...."