Russia -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
Lavretzky took a carriage, and ordered the man to drive him out of town.
The entire remainder of the day, and the whole night long until the
morning, he roamed about, incessantly halting and wringing his hands: now
he raged, again it seemed rather ridiculous to him, even rather amusing.
In the morning he was chilled through, and entered a wretched suburban
inn, asked for a room, and seated himself on a chair by the window. A
convulsive yawning seized hold upon him. He could hardly stand on his
feet, his body was exhausted,--but he was conscious of no fatigue,--yet
fatigue claimed its rights: he sat and stared, and understood nothing; he
did not understand what had happened to him, why he found himself alone,
with benumbed limbs, with a bitterness in his mouth, with a stone on his
breast, in a bare, strange room; he did not understand what had made her,
Varya, give herself to that Frenchman, and how she had been able,
knowing herself to be unfaithful, to be as calm, amiable, and confiding
toward him as before! "I understand nothing!" whispered his parched lips.
"Who will guarantee me now, that in Petersburg...." And he did not finish
the question, and yawned again, quivering and writhing all over. The
bright and the dark memories tormented him equally; it suddenly occurred
to him, that a few days previously, in his presence and in that of
Ernest, she had seated herself at the piano and had sung: "Old husband,
menacing husband!" He recalled the expression of her face, the strange
glitter of her eyes, and the flush on her cheeks,--and he rose from his
chair; he wanted to go and to say to them: "You have made a mistake in
trifling with me; my great-grandfather used to hang the peasants up by
the ribs, and my grandfather himself was a peasant"--and kill them both.
Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to him, that everything which was taking
place with him was a dream, and not even a dream, but merely some
nonsense or other: that all he had to do was to shake himself, to look
about him.... He did look about him, and as the hawk buries his claws in
the bird he has captured, anguish pierced more and more deeply into his
heart. To crown all, Lavretzky was hoping at the end of a few months to
become a father.... The past, the future, his whole life was poisoned. He
returned, at last, to Paris, put up at a hotel, and sent Varvara
Pavlovna the note of M--r Ernest, with the following letter:
"The accompanying document will explain everything to you. I will
say to you, by the way, that I did not recognise you: you, always
such a precise person, to drop such an important paper!" (This
phrase poor Lavretzky had prepared and cherished for the space of
several hours.) "I can see you no more; I assume that you, also,
cannot wish to meet me. I have assigned fifteen thousand francs a
year to you; I cannot give more. Send your address to the office of
the estate. Do what you will, live where you please. I wish you
happiness. No answer is necessary."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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