World War, 1914-1918 -- Personal narratives, English
But my faith in the Department was unshaken. I remembered the
cautious deliberation of the earlier proceedings, and came to the
conclusion that whereas there had been for many months an ample
supply of chaplains at the front, and a regular flow of
reinforcements from home, a sudden and desperate shortage had
occurred--owing to casualties in battle, or some kind of
pestilence--and that it was necessary to rush new men to the scene of
action at the highest speed. This explanation seemed to me
reasonable. It did not turn out to be true. There was no particularly
urgent demand for chaplains when I reached France.
I am now inclined to think that the Chaplains' Department does its
business in this particular way with deliberate intention. It desires
first to produce an impression of stability, wisdom, and forethought.
It proceeds slowly, and for long periods does not proceed at all. It
also wishes its servants to feel that it is vigorous, filled with
energy, and working at terrifically high pressure. Then it does
things with a rush which would put to shame the managing directors of
the New York Underground Railway.
CHAPTER II
GETTING THERE
I made my start from Victoria Station on a January morning. I had
worn His Majesty's uniform for no more than two days, and was still
uneasily conscious of my strange clothes. I was uncertain about the
proper adjustment of straps and buttons. I came for the first time in
my life into touch with the army. I, a man of over fifty, went back
with a leap to the emotions of forty years before. I was a new boy in
a big school.
Others--some who have had the experience and more who have not--have
described that start from Victoria or Waterloo. They have said
something about the pangs of farewell, though I cannot imagine how
any one who has been through it wants to talk about that. They have
said a good deal about the thrill of excitement which comes with the
beginning of adventure. They have described a certain awe of the
unknown. They have tingled with intense curiosity.
I confess chiefly to bewilderment, the discomfort of strangeness and
an annoying sense of my own extreme insignificance. I was a new boy.
I wanted to behave properly, to do the right thing, and I had no way
of knowing what the right thing was. I was absurdly anxious not to
"cheek" anybody, and thereby incur the kind of snubbing, I scarcely
expected the kicks, which I had endured long ago when I found myself
a lonely mite in a corner of the cloisters of my first school.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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