"Alas! It is your very good qualities which puzzle me. They are
varied, but each one of you has an equal share. How then, without
being inexcusably unjust, can I choose between you? In a state of
embarrassment, similar to that of the shepherd, Paris, of old, I know
not on whom to bestow the apple. If one of you had only made himself
famous by some conspicuous action, my mind would be more at ease,
but, situated as you are in this civilized Paris of ours, and so long
as the country is at peace, what test can I impose upon you, or what
proof can you offer me? As matters stand, you are simply men of the
world, whose first duty is to be as little conspicuous as possible.
I, therefore, have nothing to expect, nothing which could put an end
to my hesitation. You see, do you not, that I am approaching—no, not
yet? Well, at last I am coming to the root of the matter, without
further circumlocution or beating about the bush. The daughter, the
wife, the friend of the famous explorers of our age comes once more
upon the scene.
"I have made up my mind definitively to traverse Africa, not that
portion which all the world knows, and which commences at Alexandria
and finishes at the desert; but the desert itself, and those strange
territories which are to be found by those who have the courage to
cross it. The longing, nay, I may say, the necessity which has taken
possession of me, and impels me to see for myself these imperfectly
explored regions—to what can I attribute it? To the education I have
received, to the conversations to which I have listened, and the
circle in which I have lived? Or, is it not rather that I am obeying
an impulse which attracts me towards the spot where M. de Guéran
perished? Does not this contemplated journey seem almost like a
'pilgrimage?' I cannot explain it, and, after all, it is of but
slight importance as far as you are concerned. What really does
concern you, gentlemen, is, that for some time past I have thought of
you as my companions. Yes, it would be impossible for me alone to
conquer the difficulties and encounter the dangers which I foresee.
As for surrounding myself with hired attendants or companions, I
should never dream of any such thing. They would only desert me half-way.
No! courage and devotion are not to be bought. With you it is
different. I have been brought in contact with you, I have watched
you narrowly, and I have come to the conclusion that you are the only
persons who are capable of aiding me in the accomplishment of my
self-imposed task.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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